Getting the silent treatment from your moody teen? These 15 torturous texts will change their tune! parenting | humor | LOLS | funny stuff for moms and dads via @InthePowderRoom

15 Torturous Texts to Send Your Teen

Is your teen uncommunicative? Won’t say word one to you about high school? Unwilling to look up from her phone to even say hello? Perhaps some well-timed texts from Back to School Night will get her attention. Be sure not to respond to her—it’s your turn, mama. Here’s fifteen torturous light-hearted messages she’s sure to notice.

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1. Remember how sad you were when no one decorated your locker on your 11th bday? Me too. Somebody’s in for a pretty-in-pink treat tomorrow. #HeartStreamersRule! XO

2. Your math teacher thought you all were too old for parent helpers but you know how I love me some Algebra II. See you Mon/Wed at 7:40 a.m.

3. Make that 6:55 a.m., they’re letting me ride the school bus in the mornings! I’ll just Prancercise home after math.

4. Surprised to learn there’s no Lice-Free Teens Club here. WTH, right?! (#WhatTheHeck J) Recruiting posters are up near main entrance. Used your phone as contact.

5. The cafeteria is understaffed, so I volunteered you for Friday lunches. Your homeroom teacher has your hairnet.

6. Good news: your gym teacher Mr. K asked for a volunteer to dance in PE . . . guess who got up there and raised the roof?!

7. Bad news: I did have to talk to Mr. K about inappropriate song choice (that Katy Perry has a mouth on her). He kind of got in my face about it.

8. Good news: so glad I paid attention at your brother’s Taekwondo class; I sure surprised Mr. K in our little scuffle. More good news: he promised he wouldn’t take any of this out on you.

9. Bad news: apparently you can get sent to the principal’s office on back-to-school night.

10. Good news: my book club bailed me out! Lisa made up something about me being slightly unstable. Yay Lisa! Off to find band room, it’s definitely not the unmarked door behind the main office. #YourPrincipalDrinks

11. The Band teacher just brought up the end-of-year amusement park field trip. I suggested a state park instead. She loved it. Jamming with nature rocks, IKR?!

12. You didn’t tell me you were studying irony in English. Remember that time we went camping and you had to pee at 3:00 a.m. and used pages from Tender is the Night as toilet paper? Guess which story made the whiteboard!

13. I had the parents LOAAO (Laughing Our Adam’s Apples Off) in chorus sharing some of your misheard lyrics. Bonus: the cute surfer-looking blond boy who was helping out thinks he knows you. And he got great video.

14. Guess who got selfies with all your teachers?! I’m calling them “Us-ies.” #InstagramWithNewFriends! #ExceptMrK

15. Looks like a great year, honey. I love your Health and Human Relations (wink, wink!) teacher; just invited her to join my book club. I’ll read your 78 texts later. Off to share your baby pictures with the yearbook staff.

Getting the silent treatment from your moody teen? These 15 torturous texts will change their tune!  parenting | humor | LOLS | funny stuff for moms and dads via @InthePowderRoom

This original piece by Kristin O’Keefe was written exclusively for In the Powder Rooma division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. Image © depositphotos.com/creatista.

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Kristin has worked as a bartender in Scotland and a speechwriter for college presidents. She’s currently a highly underpaid blogger at dreadfullybusy.com and an aspiring novelist. In her spare time she carts her two children around the D.C. metro area in a duct-taped minivan. Kristin’s work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and McSweeney’s. While she is dreadfully busy, she tries to find time to read the work of smart, funny women. That’s a lot of reading.

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  1. Lora Seiter says

    This is priceless! I’ve already sent my son the understaffed cafeteria text…he replied, “Huh?” Bahahaha!!!

  2. Hugh says

    I only wish my kids were still in school after reading these. Somehow with those texts I think you would get their attention. Awesome

  3. says

    The best thing about this is that embarrassing your teen has a very long shelf life. You can probably milk some of these through young adulthood. Number 6 was my favorite…I can just see the look of horror on my kid’s face if I would have threatened to go dance in her PE class. The horror.

    This was fabulous!

    • says

      The idea for this piece came from a text I sent my daughter on back-to-school night about me volunteering to dance in front of the whole gym. She never got back to me so quickly in her life.

  4. Ginger says

    Which one do I send first? If only I could see her face when she receives one of these texts. What else do you have for us?

  5. says

    Hysterical, and what a fabulous idea! My daughter starts high school next year. She’s getting a smart phone today, actually.. So the timing of this post could NOT have been better. Can’t wait to start sending her torturous texts. (Rubs hand together and laughs maniacally).

    • says

      Excellent visual, Lisa. Have fun with that. BTW, I just got a series of angry texts from teen telling me I packed her wrong sandwich at lunch. grumble grumble. Texting not always a force for good–why we need to turn the tables!

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