5 Annoying Trends That Won't Seem to Go Away via In the Powder Room

5 Annoying Trends That Won’t Seem to Go Away

It’s Groundhog Day ladies and gentlemen. What does that mean? It means that today is just like every other day except today we let a rodent predict the weather forecast. According to the news, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, thus predicting six more weeks of winter. I’m guessing if that little guy paid attention to anything else when he popped his fat, hairy, ass out of his cage, he also undoubtedly saw:

1. Chevron
I’m over it. Who even knew that it was possible to be over a pattern? Well done, Chevron, you are the Kim Kardashian of patterns—over done, over played, and get the fuck out of my face.

Speaking of . . .

2. Kim Kardashian
Not that Kimye doesn’t look like a boatload of fun but can we be done with them yet? They are not America’s royal family equivalent. She had a sex tape and proceeded to sleep with everyone and bore us all to tears with her monotone voice. The only thing she is good for is her cry face, which is incredible. People get so annoyed with Taylor Swift and I’m over here all . . . WHAT ABOUT KIM AND THAT ASSHOLE KANYE? All Taylor wants to do is sleep around and play with kittens. Taylor is like the real live version of Lisa Frank and that’s okay in my book. Let’s replace Kim with anyone else . . . Taylor, a rock, a used tampon. All will be gladly accepted.

3. Mason Jar Everything
I’ve never had a problem with a cup or a container before this mason jar phenomenon. Is it possible to get pissed off at a piece of glassware? The answer is yes. Mason jar vase, mason jar light fixture, mason jar salad container, mason jar aquarium, mason jar candle. Obviously Bubba jumped off the shrimp bandwagon and started marketing for the mason jar. It’s a clear glass jar. You can buy it at the dollar store. Can we move on?

I know what you’re thinking . . .

4. KEEP CALM & <insert something stupid here like eat cotton candy>
How about shut the fuck up? I don’t understand this. Where did this come from? Who started this stupidness? And more importantly, WHY did someone start this? You know what, I don’t want to know. If you have any way of standing up for this just don’t. Take it off your car, take it off your wall and throw the shirt away.

5. Bae
Maybe it’s because I’m over the age of 12 that this baffles me but why is this a thing? I understand YOLO. I’m cool. I get stuff, sort of, I mean, I get things once they’re explained to me. My 13-year-old niece explained “bae” to me and I rolled my eyes and told her she was wrong. Obviously my niece is just not one of the cool kids. I Googled “bae” and it said the same thing my niece told me. Bae just means babe with a missing b or “before anyone else” That’s it. That’s stupid!

So, Groundhog, let’s make a deal, you can decide whether we have 6 more weeks of winter but if I have to endure one more day of my BAE wearing a chevron print Keep Calm shirt while drooling over Kimye and a box of mason jars, I’m going to lose my shit.

 

Featured image via Groundhog Day/Columbia Pictures.
This original piece by Lynsey Hackett was written exclusively for In the Powder Rooma division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. 

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Lynsey is a Georgia woman making everyday situations unbearably funny. She is the creator and writer of Sugar Free Ear Candy where she writes about her life as a wife, mother, and dog owner. She spends her time finding humor in the mundane, decorating, dodging her anxiety and convincing people that dysfunctional is the new normal.

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  1. says

    I did purchase chevron in the much too recent past, but at least I am self aware about it. These are hysterical! I much prefer swifty over kk too if forced to choose. I don’t even acknowledge Kanye. He brings nothing to the table.

  2. says

    I am not a huge fan of the chevron, either. I was just talking with a friend last night about how funny it is that people get all twitterpated over anything in a mason jar. Those are for whiskey. That’s all.

  3. says

    Ha! I totally agree with each of these. Can we also add the obsessive following of weird celeb trends like vagina steaming? Let’s just agree that these pretty people should be here to entertain us but that we should NOT take any advice from famous people. Especially when it comes to adding heat to delicate lady parts.

  4. says

    Well, I have to admit that I didn’t know what the hell chevron was, nor Bae until I read this. Doesn’t rumplestiltskin call his son Bae on that fucked up fairytale TV show? Tell him to suck it. And used tampons are preferable to most nothing unless we’re talking about kim. You crazy, girl!

  5. says

    My mason jars are for canning and holding my homemade moonshine. I LOVE Kim ‘ s ugly cry face because it makes mine look good. I heard this woman say Bae and I let my inside voice come out with a , “People need to shut the fuck up with that word!” She was older than me too.

    • Leslie Marinelli says

      Right?! Or as website backgrounds! I mean, DAY-YAM! Oh, wait… shit. Scratch that. I still like subway tile. BUT CHEVRON CAN KISS MY SUBWAY TILED ASS! 😉

  6. says

    Is it wrong of me to be snobbish toward bloggers who still use that damn chevron pattern on their blogs? I sit here thinking, “Um, 2013 called. They want their shitty design back. Update and stop using those crappy themes everyone and their mother uses!”

    Mason jars? Don’t care. Keep Calm? Meh. I think it’s funny…sometimes. Kim K? I wish I didn’t share a name with that bitch.

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