Despite the record cold and snowfall, don’t forget that bathing suit season is just around the corner, ladies!
But don’t worry! If you fear someone is going to get close enough to your ass and your crotch to notice some redness or bumps and you have an extra $200 or so laying around, then there’s still time to schedule your “Vajacial” and “Shiny Hiney” services.
That’s right! Facials for your front and your back doors!
While the term “Vajacial” was trademarked by the Strip Wax Bar in California, other salons around the country now offer fur burger facials. Brazilian waxes have been around for ages, but this revolutionary procedure is begins with a cleanse and anti-bacterial wash of the bikini area, and is followed by an enzyme mask that gets rid of skin cells that trap hairs.
Next, comes extraction. In the same way that a facial extracts goo from the pores on your face, a Vajacial extracts ingrown hairs with a pair of tweezers. Finally, another mask is applied and voilà! Your cooter is ready for a close-up.
But what about the backside, you say?
They’ve got you (un)covered on that end as well. Started at Skin By Molly, a salon in Brooklyn, the “Shiny Hiney” is “just like a facial, but for your bum” and promises the client will walk away with a firmer, tighter, more toned tush.
For around $85, clients receive a wash with a purifying cleanse, followed by a toner that contains salicylic acid; next comes a manual exfoliation, a steam and a purifying clay mask to remove “assne” and other unsightly blemishes. Before you know it, your skin will be as smooth as a baby’s bottom!
(Although manscaping exists, no mention is made if either of these services are offered to men, most likely because men don’t worry about how smooth the skin on their private parts is. But I would suggest they call it a “Schlong Shine” or “Wax and Wang” if the opportunity presented itself.)
RELATED: My Husband is a Pubic Menace
At any rate, if the idea of someone steaming and peeling your backside in an attempt to make it as smooth as your face freaks you out a bit, just grab a dry brush and some body oil, folks.
Now that’s a treatment I can get behind.
Image © depositphotos.com/lifeonwhite.