The Night I Somewhat Cheated on My Husband -- a wife and mother gives a brutally honest account of how taking time for yourself can feel like the ultimate betrayal.

The Night I Somewhat Cheated on My Husband

I really did somewhat cheat on my husband, but it’s not what you think.

My husband offered to watch the kids one evening while I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and a movie. I was excited to get a night out. My friend and I had drinks, good food, and uninterrupted conversation. Then we saw a chick flick—one you couldn’t have paid my hubby enough money to see. It was wonderful.

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When the movie was over, my friend and I heard thunder and saw lightning off in the distance. We stayed inside the theater for a minute, just to be sure we wouldn’t get caught in the pouring rain. My first thought was that if we did, I was going to see another movie. You know, to be productive, and pass the time away.

But it never did rain, and my friend and I ended up going our separate ways.

This is where the cheating comes in. I just didn’t want the night to end. You may be wondering if I called or met up with someone, but I assure you, I didn’t. I just drove around for a bit and listened to music. It wasn’t what someone else wanted to listen to, but what I wanted to play. I thought about getting that milk we needed at the store, but I decided not to. I didn’t even stop by Target, which is my favorite place to be when I have extra time. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do, or where I wanted to go. All I knew was I didn’t want to go home.

Don’t get me wrong. My life is wonderful, as anyone on the outside looking in would see. I have an amazing husband, two fun kids, and a good job. Yet, sometimes, I feel the walls closing in on me. My kids are at the point where they are starting to get on each other’s nerves. My 4-year-old is going through lots of different personalities, and I don’t get along with a few of them. My 17-month-old is in a “Mommy phase,” and is usually physically attached to me. I love them more than anything, but sometimes, I need a mommy time-out.

To make it worse, my husband travels. He is gone so much that I sometimes forget how to act around him. When I do, I find myself irritable and set in my ways, wed to the routines that I follow while he is away working hard. We are trying to define a new “us,” but it is a challenge. We go on dates, but are often too tired to really bond. I have been told that this is just a phase of life that many couples experience when the kids are young and careers need a lot of attention. It will pass.

But that day, I knew that if I went home, my husband would be doing his own thing—and I wanted to do mine. I needed a cup of coffee, or a drink, or just someplace to be where I could pretend that my night was still going strong. It all sounded good to me. I wanted to stay in an existence where I wasn’t staring at four walls surrounding me, overwhelmed by the chaos. I wanted to be in another world for just a brief period . . . long enough that I could take a deep breath, and get back to all that was in my heart.

I found a coffee place, sat and drank a cup, and just people-watched for a while. I felt bad for not rushing home. There were dishes to be done and clothes to set out for the next day. I could have even sat and caught up with the hubby for a few minutes.

But I didn’t. I kept time to myself.

The guilt, even as I write this, is there.

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So, I guess I did cheat, but not with anyone else. Sometimes “me” time is cheating, but it’s worth it to keep going and living life.

I may do it again sometime.

"The guilt, even as I write this, is there." One wife and mother gives a brutally honest account of how taking time for yourself can feel like the ultimate betrayal. Feelings | self-care | motherhood | marriage | relationships
This original piece by Stacey Waltzer was written exclusively for In the Powder Rooma division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. Featured image © depositphoto.com/pekour. 

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Stacey is a wife, mom, and teacher. When she’s not doing any of those, she’s just a 40 year old, loving life and all that goes with it. She blogs about thoughts and adventures about life at 40 at 40 Wishes and Counting where life is far from over the hill. (Most of the time anyway.) Connect with Stacey on Facebook and Twitter @40wishes.

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  1. says

    Relate. Relate. Relate. We need some time to ourselves, and dammit if we don’t take it. Sister, drop that guilt and do some more cheating. You deserve it.

  2. pamb says

    Why feel guilty? I assure you, your husband doesn’t feel guilty about his ‘me time’, even if he’s the greatest, most supportive man alive. EVERYONE is entitled to ‘me time’, kids included (especially the over scheduled ones).

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