Dried Apricots Saved My Ass via In the Powder Room

Dried Apricots Saved My Ass

“If you want to visit the loo for a number two, eat dried apricots.” – Joan

These simple—yet wise, and oh so powerful—words of wisdom were passed down to me by an elderly friend of the family. She, too, had suffered the traumatic (and sometimes dire) effects of chronic constipation.

She’d known what it felt like to be anal retentive, literally. And she had believed herself to be a grumpy person by nature. But really . . . it was just poo. That uptight sourpuss was actually a peaceful ray of sunshine, stifled by the storm clouds of her predicament. And when Joan realized the power of dried apricots, she rediscovered what it felt like to smile and laugh every day. Not just once a week.

Such a jolly old gal, she is.

Joan is very candid and open, as well. So I chatted with her about my own sufferings in the “shit department” of life. She wasn’t at all surprised when I shared with her the details of a 12 day, fecal-free, bender (that happened back in ’02). The kids had simply refused to be dropped off at the pool! Instead, they gathered together, to form one giant kid—a kid that eventually, through sweat and tears made its debut with a glute-splashing cannonball of mammoth proportions. This ordeal was like a heads up for me (and not in a turtle head kinda way). Oh no. I had been given a sneak peak into what it would actually feel like to give birth . . .

Years later, in the hours leading up to the delivery of my first baby, I drew strength from my past experiences. If I could survive the mammoth poo of ’02, I could do this. And I did!

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I’m happy to report that the days of stubborn turds are history now. No longer do I writhe in pain, or pass on seconds because I barely had room for firsts. No way! My digestion knows new joys. And I owe thanks for this, and for the many carefree smiles, to Joan and her dried apricot advice.

Joan saved my ass, and for that I’m grateful.

"Dried Apricots Saved My Ass" by Shannon Day via @InthePowderRoom. Because chronic constipation is no laughing matter… or is it?

 

This original piece by Shannon Day was written exclusively for In the Powder Rooma division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. 

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Shannon Day is wife to a gorgeous, yet slightly overbearing, Brit. She’s also mom to 3 little ladies. Once a teacher now a story maker, and occasional cocktail shaker, she shares her tales, martini recipes and her shenanigans over at Martinis & Motherhood. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, and on BLUNTmoms.

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  1. says

    Thanks for writing about my favorite subject! Poop! I like to call myself the Constipation Coach — definitely my favorite part about being a Holistic Nutritionist. Ain’t nothing worse than being backed up!

  2. says

    It wasn’t until AFTER I shat out my first kid that I discovered stool softeners. I still thank the midwife for those, in fact.

    And your highlighting of the dried apricots has just explained, for me, why the entire Turkish population is so easy-going. We lived there for a year, and I’ve never met a more obliging bunch. It’s the apricots!

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