The fascinating story behind a published YA author's background in the adult film industry.

Falling into Porn

Two days after interviewing for an accounting job at an adult video company, I walked down a long hallway lined with movie posters of voluptuous women enticing the beholders into the bedroom, under the bleachers, and into the swimming pool. All weekend I had been obsessing over this job. What would it be like working in the porn industry? Would I fit in?

I was a child of the sixties, and no stranger to “free love” or the occasional ménage-a-trois. But the only profits I’d ever gained from those experiences were some great memories. This time was different. This time I would be making money from an establishment that sold sex.

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Filled with jitters and questions, I passed an office where several women sat in front of computers. I heard one of them mentioning something about a “quick dick,” and another complaining that the inventory for “Swedish Erotic 12” was out of balance. A glance at the pictures tacked above their desks told me that they were both moms with preschool-aged children, just like me.

The door opened briefly as I passed the editing room, and a selection of loud “oohs,” “aahs,” and other shrieks of pleasure escaped into the hallway. Just as the door was closing, a bald guy eating lunch from a paper bag gave me a friendly wave. I then walked by Human Resources, where a box of sex toys sat on a shelf next to a photo of a young man in cap and gown.

Once in my office, I looked around. An ordinary desk. An ordinary chair. An ordinary phone. I didn’t know what I had been expecting. But I certainly hadn’t been expecting what happened next.

Behind my desk stood a very large filing cabinet. I opened the first drawer, and began searching through the files in order to get a feel for the job. Leaving it open, I pulled out the second drawer. I then made the mistake of turning around, and suddenly, WHAM! I found myself pinned between my desk and the filing cabinet, absolutely clueless to the cause of my predicament.

So I did what any working girl would do, and started screaming. And screaming. And screaming. No one came to help, for what seemed like forever. Could they not hear me over the pleasurable moans emitting from the editing room? Or had only a few seconds actually passed between the “incident” and the time it took for the first coworker to appear at my office door?

“Oh my God!” she shouted. “Are you okay?”

“What’s going on?” asked the next person to arrive.

“Voice-over tryouts,” someone else said, and laughed.

Once the cabinet was pulled off my back, I started laughing as well. How could I not? Other than a minor backache, I was perfectly fine. How ditzy of me to forget that you can’t open the top drawers of a large filing cabinet and expect it to remain upright.

Then, just as I was regaining my composure, another coworker came barging into my office: “So, I hear you like it from behind.”

Once again, laughter erupted. And in that moment I realized that, yes, sex was a serious business when it came to the debits and credits, but just like in every other workplace, there would be inside jokes.

As I stared at the people who had come to my rescue, all of my doubts and worries disappeared. They were just ordinary people. From the warehouse guy who shipped porn around the country, to the director who choreographed the “money shots,” to the administrative assistant who made sure there was always a pot of fresh coffee in the kitchen, they were all just men and women trying to put food on the table, pay the rent, and put their children through college.

As soon as I had a free moment, I went ahead and placed a photo of my daughter and husband on my desk. Later, with my first paycheck, I decided to take them out to dinner.

And buy some of the intriguing rooster-headed condoms I’d seen during my tour of the warehouse.

The fascinating story of how a grandma and successful YA author found herself smack in the middle of the adult film industry.

This original piece by Janie Emaus was written exclusively for In the Powder Rooma division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. Featured image © depositphotos.com/nilswey. 

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Janie Emaus is the author of the time travel romance, Before the After, the young adult novel, Mercury in Retro Love, and a co-author of In the Powder Room’s hilarious best-selling anthology You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth. Janie blogs for The Huffington Post, Purple Clover, The Mid and Midlife Blvd. She is proud to be named a 2013 BlogHer Voice of the Year. Janie believes that when the world is falling apart, we’re just one laugh away from putting it together again. To learn more about Janie visit her blog www.theboomerrants.com and her author website www.JanieEmaus.com.

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  1. says

    I’m so glad you weren’t hurt (too bad.) What a great job although I am sure like you explained it was more ordinary than not.
    When I owned a gift basket company we supplied favors for bachelor and bachelorette parties and offered several other ‘toy’ baskets.

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