Female anatomy lessons via In the Powder Room

Female Anatomy Lessons with a Side of Italian Food

Image credit: © iStockPhotos.com/shvili

 

Having a daughter is said to be like having a best friend—a lot like you. So, tell me then why we can’t talk to our daughter as we would a friend? Let me rephrase that, why can’t some women?

My daughter who is eleven going on thirty is extremely mature and wise for her own good, which is in large part due to the fact that I have always talked to her as an adult. Some may disagree, but unless you want your daughter to be sitting in Rosario’s with two best friends on her 30th birthday learning for the first time things she should have known years ago—you may want to rethink your plan of action.

I’m thirty-four and a mother of three children, and was raised without a mother. I was twenty when I found out (much to my relief) that I could not get prostate cancer, as I did not have a prostate! The first time I used a tampon, I had no idea you had to remove the applicator. Let’s just say that was an uncomfortable experience! And yes, on my thirtieth birthday while out to dinner, my cousin informed me the actual location of which hole women pee out of. In disbelief, I pulled out my phone and Google confirmed that I was a complete moron. While grateful that I would no longer pee on my hand while peeing in a cup at the doctor’s office again—I decided my daughter would know EVERYTHING!

My motto is this: If they are old enough to ask, I need to be mature enough to answer! Now, this doesn’t mean there aren’t pull-over-to-the-side-of-the-road moments of uproaring laughter—like the time my seven-year-old son asked me if I “liked tacos or hot dogs—and he wasn’t referring to food! Or, when my daughter very candidly asked how and why boys get boners. In those moments, after the laughter subsided I could have taken two roads—one which is more common than we realize—brush it under the rug with the old faithful “We will talk about that when you are old enough to understand” which means we will address this when mom or dad are able to mentally handle discussing this topic, or talk about it now.

It is vital that our children can come to us, to ask anything, to know that there is a place of non-judgment and understanding. My daughter and I can sit and talk about anything. She comes to me with body issues, concerns, normal girl stuff, boys, whatever it may be, and I want to encourage that. There is going to come a day when something happens that may seem scary to her, and as a mother we should try to eliminate the fear when we can.

At the end of the day, no one wants their daughter to be sitting in a restaurant worried they are going to die of prostate cancer while wearing a tampon with the applicator still attached, peeing all over their hand because they simply were never informed what the hell is going on with their bodies, right?!

Editor’s Note: WebMD has an anatomically correct diagram of the female external genitalia which is lovely and very educational, FYI. 

 

Totally Jessifiable is a blog that is unapologetically confident. It is bold, honest and thrives from the mistakes and hardships that life has wrapped with a sparkling bow, and a gift tag that reads “I have lived it, conquered it – and so can you.” This blog takes life and mixes in humor, lessons, advice, and invokes an emotion in anyone who reads it. It creates self-empowerment, confidence, humility, self respect and a sisterhood among the readers who have felt alone in the struggles of the parenting, step-parenting and simply being a woman. Connect with her on Facebook and @totsjessifiable on Twitter.

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  1. says

    It took me 6 crumpled tampon tries until I got one in successfully. And by successfully I mean dangling out just enough to make underwear incredibly uncomfortable. No one had told me how. And I wasn’t comfortable asking. I haven’t yet had the talk with my 6 year old about the blood that is in her future, but it’s coming. And when she finally bleeds from her taco, I’m going to hand her a nice, soft reusable cloth pad, instead of painful stick of bleached cotton, and say “You lucky duck, you have no idea the agony you’re missing out on.” And she’ll shrug in her future pre-teen way and not give a rat’s ass that I had an open conversation with her about bleeding from her taco. Because that will be her normal, which is awesome.

  2. says

    Jessica, this is HILARIOUS!! I totally agree, and my 4 year old is going on 35. The tampon things was too much. I still don’t really know where the pee hole is, except I have a better idea since feeling a catheter bring removed after c-sections. I’d love to hear the story of how you were raised.

  3. says

    I’ve been open with my daughter since the day I found her looking in the B Encyclopedia (yes, before the Internet) for the meaning of blow job. . And now I’m having these discussions with my grandkids. It’s the only way to be.

  4. says

    I could not agree with you more! My Offspring were taught proper names and functions, so it was kinda a relief when the questions were, “What is a Willie?”
    I never baby- talked them, even when they were babies. I saved all that for the cats.
    Great post!

  5. Rayven says

    I remember when my now 23 year old son, and a US Army Soldier, asking me at about age 7 where babies come from. Ironically, we were in the car so I pulled over and started telling him. I used proper medical terms and was accurate and descriptive. At one point he says “Ok! I’ve heard enough!” THEN…….. I laughed my ass off!!!! :)

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