"I Like My Kids, Not Yours" by Susannah Lewis via @InthePowderRoom humor | funny | parenting | LOLs | honest | kids | manners

I Like My Kids, Not Yours

I don’t like other people’s kids.

You have no idea what a huge relief it is to admit that.

It’s like a 24-ton Komodo dragon has been lifted off my chest.

As a mother, I am supposed to love children, right? Well, guess what? I love my children. Yours? Not so much.

I walked into my kitchen a few weeks ago and there was some unknown prepubescent boy rummaging through my refrigerator. My daughter and her other friends were playing in the back yard.

“And, um, who are you?”

“I’m Dana’s cousin,” he replied, continuing to search for a snack.

After grilling him for nearly five minutes and consulting a genealogy chart, I finally realized that Dana was a friend of a kid down the street, who happened to be playing with my daughter in our back yard. Confusing, right? Even more confusing is how this child ended up inside my home and drinking my organic juice boxes and dipping his dirty fingers in my Nutella.

“I don’t know you. Please close my refrigerator and remove yourself from my kitchen,” I demanded.

“I just need a snack,” he argued with me.

Turd, I thought.

“GO. AWAY.” I said.

This is the kid I can’t stand—the one with no manners who thinks he can barge into my house for free snacks.

What about that little brat in the restaurant throwing ring-shaped chicken at my head while I’m trying to eat my New York Strip in peace?

His mother giggles, “No, no, little Leroy. That lady doesn’t want chicken spheres in her freshly highlighted hair.”

Little Leroy’s horns poke through his summertime buzz cut as he throws another one at me.

His mother giggles again, his father tucks his testicles in his butt crack, and they both let little Leroy run the show. I can’t stand little Leroy.

Turd, I think

A little girl, who I’ve met once or twice in passing, pulls my daughter aside at school and says, “Tell your mom that I’m coming to your house to play this afternoon.”

“Mama, Ashley is coming over to play this afternoon,” my precious, always innocent offspring says.

(I assure you that my children never get on anyone’s nerves. Seriously. Never.)

The little girl interrupts, “My name is Ashton. Not Ashley.”

Do you see how well we know this child? My daughter didn’t even know her name.

“Ashton can’t come over this afternoon. We have a lot of errands to run today,” I smile kindly at the unknown child.

What do you have to do?” Ashton asks, as if it is any of her business.

“We are very busy today, dear. Not today.”

“Then when?” she says, attitude evident in her squeaky little voice, her Children of the Corn haircut frightening me a little.

“Some other time,” I grab my daughter’s hand and look for the nearest exit.

“When?!” she screams.

Turd, I think, as I scurry toward the door.

I don’t like little Ashton. I don’t like children demanding to know my plans and inviting themselves to my home. I don’t like Children of the Corn.

Turds.

Yeah, I call other people’s kids turds, but the term is fitting.

However, it isn’t really the little turds’ fault, is it?

If Dana’s cousin had been raised with manners, he wouldn’t be robbing me of my foodstuffs.

If Leroy had been raised with discipline, my hair wouldn’t smell like hormone-laden poultry.

If Ashton had been raised with manners or discipline, she wouldn’t be inviting herself to my house and wanting to know my agenda for the day.

So, it isn’t really the children. It’s the parents.

Parents are turds.

I don’t like parents.

You’ve no idea what a huge relief it is to admit that.

It’s like a 24-ton Komodo dragon has been lifted off my chest.

"I Like My Kids, Not Yours" by Susannah Lewis via @InthePowderRoom  humor | funny | parenting | LOLs | honest | kids | manners

This post was written by Susannah Lewis exclusively for In the Powder Room, a division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. Featured image © istockphoto.com/CREATISTA. 

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Susannah B. Lewis is a freelance writer, blogger, humorist, aspiring best-selling author, wife of one and stay-at-home mother of two. She was chosen for the Top 13 in Blogger Idol 2013 and contributes pieces to The Huffington Post and Hahas for Hoohas. Her work has been featured in several humorous e-books, Southern Writers’ Magazine, The Humor Daily and on the Erma Bombeck website. When she’s not putting pen to paper, bandaging boo-boos or spraying Shout on unidentifiable stains, she enjoys reading, playing the piano and teaching her children all about Southern charm. Read her humor blog, Whoa! Susannah. (www.whoasusannah.com).

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  1. says

    You hit this one right on the head! I have never admitted it but I feel EXACTLY the same way – as I’m sure many out there do. The worst is trying to teach a kid who has already eaten dinner but is somehow at my house when we are sitting down to eat and says, “Oh THAT looks good, can I have some?” to chew with his mouth closed, not talk with food in his mouth, and keep his elbows off the table. I hate that kid.

    • says

      That kid really ticks me off. What ticks me off worse is when he/she only eats two bites of my meatloaf, sneezes on it and then dumps it in the garbage when it could have been lunch the next day.

      • Kara says

        I’m not sure where the comment button is, so I apologize for jumping on here. There are plenty of kids I don’t like and would not invite into my home. But I would like to throw something out there. My children have all been adopted from foster care. My oldest is now 6 & came to us when she was. 2.5. Before us, she was never with anyone for more than a couple of months. We’ve worked very hard with her, but she still doesn’t get why something’s are rude and she shouldn’t say them. Our sons are both delayed, one diagnosed with autism. The other because his birth mom shook and drugged him. They don’t don’t get why not everyone cares about what they’re doing. I’m not saying love every child, or parent, I’m just asking that you consider other factors, other than they’re just turds. I mean, I do get it, sometimes mine are just turds for the sake of being turds!

        • Jennifer says

          Although there are factors out there but they are not the exception. I believe she is talking about children that have their parents and they still have discipline issues because their parents don’t teach them manners. Its a huge problem in our society today. Kids are rude. I am a military family and my step children live with us. They are taught manners and are disciplined when necessary. We lived in Okinawa Japan for four year, around other military families….you would never see this with these kids…never experienced it. My step kids spent their first summer with their Mom, in a small town in NY, in a couple of years…the first phone call that my husband made to the kids my stepson stated that kids are extremely rude, asking for food and inviting themselves into their mom’s home. They had to be the bad guy and tell them no and told them they were being rude. They were appalled at that behavior. My step children are 12 and 9….around the age of the most rudest of children out there. I love my kids too..and very rarely do I see kids here in the USA that I like…self absorbed, more than what is normal and think they are entitled. Are their other factors out there …yes there is…but the knowledge of those factors are put out there when they do. Other people kids suck and I am not afraid to admit it….

  2. says

    Susannah, it’s like a 24-ton Kimodo dragon has been lifted off MY chest that you wrote this. Yes, Yes, YES!
    So. spot. on. Turds. I had a kid break our “no upstairs and no going into the bedrooms” rule. The little darling went on up, found the box of Rogét chocolates my husband had been saving, and the little turd ate every. single. one., forming a perfect GPS path with the wrappers, Hansel & Gretel style. And we all know what happened to them. Uh huh. Makes a whole lot more sense now, don’t it?

  3. says

    This is GREAT. I’m glad to know I’m not alone. Sitting in the library yesterday as my 6yo step-son played, and read happily, QUIETLY, I could only shake my head at the throng of children, running, yes running and SHOUTING in the EFFING LIBRARY!

    Other peoples’ kids are awful and I’ll yell it from the rooftops :)

  4. says

    My Grandmother always said kids are like farts, your own are the only ones that are tolerable.
    She had a habit of always putting kids in their place, even other people’s. I was mortified of this as a child, as a parent I LOVE IT. I have no problem saying, in my most judgmental voice: “Leroy, what your parents are obviously afraid to tell you is: Throwing food at people is rude and it won’t be tolerated.” Either the parents are embarrassed or pissed off, but usually it’s enough to shock Leroy into cutting the SHIT, the little turd!

  5. says

    I can’t stand the kids who call my house, and when I say Hello they say Hi. And that’s it. I’m not the one who called – what the hell do you want? Turds.

    • Erin says

      I always answer with “hello” and wait…. And wait…. If they say hello again, I say it too…with call display I usually know who it is, so when its a kid I keep playing!! One boy said hello 8 times before he figured it out!!

  6. Lisa Hewitt says

    I cannot decide which child annoys me more.There are 6 parents that need a copy of Emily Post shoved up there asses,or a 24 ton Komodo dragon.

  7. says

    This is why I hate going places like the zoo or the children’s museum on weekends. Other parents SUCK. And by virtue, so do their rotten kids. The only other kids I like are my friends’ kids, because they know how to raise good children.

  8. Michaela Mitchell says

    Preach on, sista! I have admitted this out loud a few times and I either get looks of horror (usually from people who are raising spoiled, rotten TURDS) or knowing laughs (usually from people who’s children I like or would like if I knew them because they don’t take crap from kids, either).

    And my dislike of other people’s children is the reason I have hosted only ONE sleepover so far at my house, although I am quite happy to send my darlings off to sleepovers any chance I can get.

    • Susannah Lewis says

      Parents who raise turds often look at me in horror- as their children act like buttheads all over the playground equipment.

    • Kate says

      Yesterday I was informed by one of my daughter’s friends that she had cancelled plans with her family so that she (and her two sisters) could have a sleep over at my house!
      Really?!? YOU decided it would be more fun for you and your sisters to come to my house instead of spending $150 on a halloween train ride, instead leaving your parents home alone with a bottle of wine?
      I don’t think so.
      Turds.

  9. says

    I don’t like other people’s kids or parents much either! I am always amazed when other parents seem to fawn all over how cute and adorable my kids are. Once you have your own kids, don’t other kids just look like little faceless droids? Apparently not, but I am not a kid person (sometimes not even my own).

  10. Victoria says

    What a huge relief to know that I am not alone. Just the thought of being around kids (mine are grown and gone, with manners and a healthy fear of being less then courteous) brings me to a full on panic attack… I have to fight to use what little filter is left before I speak…

    Well said!

  11. Bunny Butler says

    Hahaha you took the words right out of my mouth. I used to like kids and while in high school trying to decide what to do with my life I thought early childhood development would be awesome. Helping, teaching, molding little people to help set them on a path to becoming responsible, educated adults one day. That totally changed and I said NO to that idea. So many kids run through my yard and drop trash along the way and when politely asked to pick it up I get eye rolls instead. My daughter will have what seems like a classroom size of girls over to play dress up and play tea party and leave her bedroom to look like a tornado just touched down. When told okay everybody it’s clean up time my daughter jumps up and starts hanging clothes while the others just stare with blank looks like I just spoke in a foreign language. Like you, all I can think is this is my little girls friends and for now I tolerate it for her, but then I also think what rude little turds and blame the parents for their rudeness.

  12. says

    I like kids in the same manner as I like adults: on a case by case basis. My like – o – meter doesn’t ping just because someone is short and cute. I have so many turf issues. I think I’d be that mom that forcibly removed the cousin from my kitchen. Just no.

  13. kj says

    i agree with everything here, except blaming the parents 100%. i know a kid, like the nosey one you mentioned, and his parents are NOthing like that. very respectuful of everyone, polite, they insist on him using good manners. i’ve got a million more stories like that. i just wonder if people are sometimes too quick to blame the parent(s). (even though it IS totally accurate sometimes! just not ALL the time.)

    • mary says

      Everyone knew and warned their children when coming to my house…it’s my house, my rules!! My best friend would tell her children…remember Mary doesn’t like kids so you better behave! Inside my turf I can yell at anyone I want! If you don’t want your child yelled at then make them mind or leave them at home….NO exceptions! BTW: I like “some” children! LOL

      • Dr. B. says

        Exactly! I have an only child, who by nature is an introvert, like her mom! But, she also warns friends “Do NOT make her angry. She WILL send you home even at 3AM.” Which has happened and pissed off a parent or two. I like “some” as well, those who follow rules! Despite my aversion and my kid being an introvert, the others end up here~ following house rules!

    • says

      I know what you mean. I have a friend who is on top of her son when it comes to manners and behavior. However out of her sight (like when over my home for a “playdate) he is the BIGGEST turd going. I like her….but not her kid!

  14. Kaly says

    On Sunday, I had a “Dana’s cousin” ask if he could use my bathroom where he proceeded to take a big dump and break the handle on my toilet. Go home to do your business random kids hanging out in my yard!

  15. H for Toy says

    Thank you! It’s good to know I’m not alone! And yet, my yard is always full of kids I don’t know. Kids are like cats. They gravitate to the people they know hate them.

  16. Steffanie says

    Tell me about it! That’s why I’m raising my two children in a different way, there’s no such a thing as a birthday parties, or sleepovers, first because they might find another parent just like me( who don’t like other kids) Our family is overseas so when is someone’s bday we take them to a theme park and we go out to dinner then we have cake in family. It’s just so much fun. If they want a bday with friends also we bring cupcakes to school and they have fun there on the day before or after…

  17. says

    THANK YOU!! I have very few but very good friends and their kids were raised right and I love spending time with them but then there are the other kids that I can’t stand the kids that invite themselves over, the ones that tell my 6 yr old daughter that they will cut her into pieces if she isn’t giving them her bow belt. The ones that have a secret plan to sneak into the school at night, and trying to once again get my 6 yr old daughter to sneak out the house to join the “fun”.
    Thank you so much for also lifted the Komodo Dragon of my chest and making me feel not alone in this!

  18. Katvalente says

    This is so true – and the comments are spot on as well! Unfortunately, I can’t “like” it on Facebook since too many of the turd friends have parents who I am also friends with. Sigh.

  19. Kate says

    Direct correlation: the more turdy the children, the less likely parents ever ask about the shoes/coats/toys left at your house.
    I take them to charity.

  20. W. says

    We go to the beach. We take sand toys. Another kid wants to play too. Then this kid decides he’s not going to share MY kid’s toys with MY kid! I try to monitor and guide in sharing when I really just want to dump a bucketful of sand on his head. His parents aren’t going to intervene and this is starting to suck for my kids and me so I figure it’s a good time to take off and go get lunch. Aaaaand then it gets better. I tell my kids to gather up their things. Other kid gets snotty and grabby because my kids are being obedient and packing up THEIR sand toys. Now I’m the mean lady taking sand toys (OUR sand toys!) away from the little kid on the beach.

  21. Jenny says

    Send Dana’s cousin to my house, I’ll feed him. I love to feed my kids’ friends healthy snacks.
    The rest of these kids don’t exist. I don’t like jerk kids or jerk parents but you lost me by making them so extreme and unreal. I work with kids, have several of my own and interact with plenty. I haven’t met these jerks.
    I’ve met a lot of uptight moms that think their kids have great manners but have no idea what they act like when mom is gone. Usually they act as snobbish and uptight as their mother.

    • Jenna says

      EXACTLY what I thought. The only turd here is the author. And her kids are probably horrid little snots, nasty to other kids, the same way they hear their mother being. I’m big on manners with my own kids, and get nothing but good reports about them, but when other kids come to my house and open my fridge I just laugh and think we must have a friendly, comfy house, just like I always wanted. AND I have the humility to realize that even though I get good reports, I don’t know if that’s just the other mom being POLITE. (Manners and all, you know.)

      • Sofia says

        I don’t know where you two live or work…but if you are around plenty of kids then you have to have met a turd or two. If you just laugh when a child goes into your refrigerator, then I can damn well bet your own child may be one like “Dana’s cousin”. There is NO WAY I would ever have gone into a friends house and plowed through food that wasn’t handed to me by an adult or my friend themselves. My house is “the house” kids come to and with two boys 17yr and 10yrs we have plenty of company, half the Varsity football team it feels like at times is here. Can you imagine feeding 4 extra 200lb boys at a meal? Imagine your shopping list if you were feeding 2 extra kids at each snake. You must not have kids over that often. Those little kids grow up with the manners taught to them at 6! Don’t you think that people may live on budgets and can’t afford to feed 4 extra kids at all meals or snack times? Don’t tell me not to have kids over either. There are plenty of turds out there who would drink out of a bottle of OJ or put their lips on my almond milk container and feel no shame. That’s a turd behavior if ever. Our 2yr old daughter doesn’t think twice about getting her goldfish at home but she always says please before she takes my nephew’s. Your appalled attitude just makes me wonder. Your perfect little children may not be so perfect, because not everyone smiles at their house being so inviting that there aren’t boundaries. I want my home to be a safe haven but I want it filled not just with laughter and love but with respect and character too.

  22. Jessica says

    I agree. I hate sitting by kids in restaurants when I don’t have my kids with me. If your kid is being an ass in my retail store where I work I will correct them. Not ok.

  23. says

    Thank you for writing this! I thought that I was alone in,this “not liking other peoples’ little turds” issue.
    I was beginning to think that I was a meanie!! Two of my examples are as followed: A neighborhood kid comes knocks on my door and wants to play with my son….OK, he finish his homework anyway. Next thing I know, as he is wait for my kid to get his helmet on (yes I insist he wears one, even those his friend don’t) this kid is munching on my organic (which means $$$$) snacks for MY kids school bags. Turd 1!
    Turd 2 is even better: I’m friends with Turd 2’s mother, and our sons have therefore become friends. Well Turd 2 stops by with my friend. He and my son play BRIEFLY. Turd 2 comes out to us and announces that he is BORED. My friend tells him off, he goes back inside, we don’t hear from him again. Turns out that he was in the bathroom that whole time. OK maybe the little Turd had to drop a turd. Next day I’m cleaning and find a sharpy marker out of place, Ok, the kids aren’t that great about cleaning up (something we’re still working on) THEN I’m cleaning the bathroom and find graffiti in black marker on the side of the toilet tank!!!!!!! I felt so violated by a nine yr old Turd. He has never stepped foot in THIS house again!!!!!!!
    Teaching my kids manners and especially respect is very important to us. We used to take our children out for meals often when they were babies. If they fussed we redirected, if that didn’t work we took doggy bags home. More time than not, we had customers and servers alike come to our table and remark at how well behaved they were being. This always surprised me. Isn’t this the norm? Apparently NOT!!!!! Now we need to teach them how to recognize turd-ish behavior in other kids so that they can find better (possibly life long) friends.

  24. Chenelle says

    I had a lite boy that lived next door to me. And he would always want to play with my oldest son, but was soooooo mean to him and would bully him. I would talk to his aunt and his mother but that little turf…not the word I would use lol, would still continue. One day he pushed my youngest (little boy is 5 and 80+ lbs and my youngest is 2 and 31 lbs) I told that turd, “don’t you EVER touch my kids again!” He said, “ok” nonchalantly. I said, “No, you don’t understand, DONT YOU EVER TOUCH MY KIDS AGAIN, now go play with someone else, because you can’t keep your hands to yourself.” Worst 6 months of my life. So glad he moved.

  25. Taylor says

    Hate to break it to you but I’m sure all you people’s kids are not nearly as perfect as you think they are. They have their turd moments just like every other kid and adult. You see your children through your heart shaped rose colored glasses just like every other parent. Kids are just human, they haven’t yet fully mastered social etiquette and they have their off days (or phases) just like everyone else. Yes kids need to learn to have manners and be respectful, but thats why theyre kids- they are still in the process of learning that. I expect kids to have manners but I dont expect them to be perfect. Everyone is so quick to blame the parents and put that kid through the wringer while putting themselves on a pedestal. Give me a break. ALL kids have their less than desirable moments and ALL parents have their times where they should have stepped up but didn’t.

    • She-Ra says

      Taylor, you are correct, in that my/our kids are not perfect angels. I don’t expect them to be either! HOWEVER, if they display turd like behavior when they are not in my/my Husband’s presence, and we find out about it, there will be a lot of correcting and apologizing going on

  26. Marie says

    We live next door to a family of TURDS. We liked them when they first moved in, had them over for BBQs, our kids all played together, we parents got along well… Then we discovered their TURDiness. The oldest daughter is full of drama and if there isn’t any happening she will start it. She would take things she learned about my daughter from playing together at home to school and start problems for her with other kids. The middle girl is a selfish self-centered brat who thinks she is the cutest thing on earth. This future stripper would interrupt our dinners on our back patio to sing (off key) at full volume and do a sexy dance on the fence. Their youngest, a prison convict in the making, would stomp into our front yard, push our son off his ride-on toy, and sit on it like it was his. Another time, jumped on my son’s back, punched him in the face, and pulled his hair. To say I discouraged friendships between our kids is putting it mildly. The parents just yell at them, but really don’t do anything. I full-on put the kabosh on the whole lot of them. They swing on their play structure facing our yard and I’ll yell at them to face their own yard and mind their own business only to have the mom stomp them out there again and sit them facing our yard. Now the parents are mad because they don’t understand why we don’t like them! Gee, why would we not like them?

  27. says

    Yes. YES. A thousand times YES. Little shits. ALL these experiences, and more. I’ve actually asked a snot-nosed child, who was wearing my daughter’s dress (wtf?!) “Don’t your parents feed you?!” out of frustration when she wandered into my kitchen for the third snack.

  28. Jess says

    My son is a very well behaved young man, because we raised him to be that way. When he was younger we’d see these kids of which you speak (especially in restaurants). When those children would start acting out I would look to my son, smile, and say (loud enough for the parents to hear) this is how you are not supposed to act in public and if you ever acted like that brat over there we’d leave and I wouldn’t take you out until you could act like a civilized human being. My son would always smile and say I know mommy because you taught me better than that. Yes we pissed parents off but usually they made their child stop or left. I agree with this article wholeheartedly very well written and oh so truthful. Thank you for sharing :)

  29. Ashasmom says

    Guess what’? Go thank a teacher– they deal with all of your turds everyday and they have to like them all. They need more money to put up with the parents and kids you mention. Yes, entitled, smug mom.–your kid is probably the worst.

  30. Candyce says

    Before I was a parent I had a girlfriend from high school visit from out of town. The first night we went out with her entourage of 3 unruly spawns to a restaurant we frequented regularly; they assassinated their dinner and the restaurants carpeting with no consequences. The next night we decided to eat in to avoid a repeat situation. Her 4 years old TURD snuck off during dinner for me to find him pooping IN MY BED.

  31. Kristin says

    This !!! This article here is my life. This is what I’m living on a daily basis. I have four daughters. One is eight weeks old. I’ll see a car pull up in my driveway and think its someone just turning around. Then it disappears and some neighborhood turd appears. Her parents just dropped her off and left with no invitation and here I am with a brand new baby. They eat all my snack food that I had designated for lunches and and then throw their snack garbage all over my backyard. They are monsters. I used to love playing dolls at my friends house and vice versa as a kid but times are different. The kids of now don’t play quietly in the bedroom with dolls. They help theselves to my Wii games, take my ipad and play games without asking, shoot videos and selfies of themselves on my iphone that they picked up while I was nursing my baby, ask me for my WiFI password and stay til 8 o clock at night. We have homework, and dinner to make and eat, and baths to take, and books to read before bed. Don’ t these kids??? Now my kids can’t have neighborhood kids over

    • Lynn says

      I have a rule for ANY kids at my house …. You want a snack – you eat popcorn. You want a drink – you have water or lemonade. You want to play – you stop playing 15 minutes before your departure time to clean up. I was so tired of my daughters’ friends eating (expensive) school lunch snacks, drinking juice boxes, and leaving messes that looked like tornados had gone through my house. That is my rule now. I tell my daughters if their friends don’t like it they can stay home

  32. Saaz4 says

    I was raised that a child should be seen and not heard. Kids should always have manners and have respect for others. My kids 9 and 16 always call other adults ma’am and sir. Turd kids may come over to my house once but if they act up they will never be welcome again.

  33. Ann says

    I suspect you don’t like a lot of things – life sounds pretty annoying to you. I am tired of grown-ups always busting on kids. Use it as an opportunity to teach the kid instead of thinking bad thoughts about them.

  34. Momma tx says

    Here’s some fun, My hubby an I are soccer coaces for my little mans 3to4 yo soccer team. We know a couple of people on the team, but others were assigned. We got a set of twins…. I call them the Tornadoes. One is sweet, but doesn’t listen well, the other….yea the other is the freaking devil. Always physical, always punching, strangling, smacking the other sibling. They run around defying instruction at practice and causing complete chaos. Saitins little helper thought it was being cute by being defiant and smiling at me with that “what are you going to do about it”……. So I walked over bent down in its face and blew my whistle as loud as I could for a full minute. All the while giving back the “what are YOU going to do about it” stare…… Then I said “see coach B over there? He’s the nice coach, I’m the mean one…..so get in line or get off my field”. The absolute look of horror in those eyes when they realize you will bring the smack down, even in front of their very nice but obviously in over their head parents. I so want to say the good one can stay the other is out! Seriously lord of the flies kind of crap. One of these days I am so going to trip evil tot on the damn field…..freaking devil terd……

  35. stacy says

    I have a comment that is sightly different. I know plenty of times when I try to teach my kids manners when another parent tells me it’s okay — in front of my kids. How do you teach your kids manners when other parents are not supporting you. FYI – I kindly tell them that I am trying to benefit the parents who do not think it’s okay!

  36. heather says

    I have been told that me not having kids is the reason I can’t tolerate them. Well I’m sorry you feel that way but I am the oldest of 14 grandchildren. I can tolerate kids, but when I’m sitting in a lobby waiting for a meeting with my husband and a random kid comes up and spits on my husband I see red. And to make matters even worse the parents laugh like its cute. I almost slapped that kid, but I refrained because I wouldn’t do good in jail.

  37. Catherine says

    Although I absolutely agree with this, one thing that I believe should be considered is that we don’t walk in those other families shoes. One lady replied that she would tell little Leroy to knock it off because it’s inappropriate. Community parenting… it’s lost and should be brought back! If kids know they are held accountable and will not get away with things with other people too, they will be less likely to behave badly in other areas. With two working parents, and caregivers who feel like they are not in a position to affectively discipline kids in their care, we end up with a population of kids who have rarely, if ever, been disciplined or taught manners consistently. Add to that the fact that come weekends, the parents are now exhausted but feel it necessary to do family oriented activities, results in outings that are chaotic for everyone. If we all banded together to support each other in the raising of our children, perhaps it wouldn’t be so nasty?!? Don’t get me wrong, we’ll still like our own kids better (cause it is like your own fart! Can be unpleasant even to ourselves but definitely more tolerable then someone else’s!) but if kids are held accountable wherever they go, a little respect can be taught, which is a good thing to learn! My long winded point… get involved and gently parent someone else’s if necessary. I even tell other parents that if you catch my kid doing/saying something they shouldn’t, feel free to go after them. It’s not just unacceptable in my presence, but in anyone’s presence, and they will learn that only if the other party speaks up!!!

  38. ange says

    Meh,. I don’t like kids. I don’t get gooey over other people’s babies. The only reason I love my kids is because they are mine. But I’m not naive enough to think that my kids can’t be assholes, because they can be. Your kids are probably assholes too, sometimes. That’s how kids are. What matters is who they are once they mature.

  39. Nikki S. says

    I have a process in my house, my girls can have anyone over once, if they don’t have manners, or are sneaky, snarky or disrespectful, I tell my girls outright, NEVER again, they are not welcome here. I’m sharing this with all of the parents I know (er the ones I like) right now. I would like to be humble and say my kids are not perfect either, but psssh, have you met my kids? they are the spitting sarcastic image of me and they’re awesome! lol

  40. Kaleigh says

    So what about the kid who truly is hungry. The one with parents who stock up on beer, never food. What if the still developing child has good reason for their lack of manners and hand in the cookie jar. I truly hope you don’t treat all children like garbage, especially if you don’t know them or their home life. Or wait would their back story even matter to you? How about instead of treating them like dirt, maybe teach them about manners, what you expect from your own children. I’m sure my friend’s parents thought I was that turd growing up. Luckily, they are a huge part of why I am nothing like my parents. They treated me like their own children with the same expectations, which was probably the last thing they needed or wanted. I assure you, they are not trying to be “annoying” or a “turd.” I am all for house rules, but not being mean to a child, unless they are physically harming you or your own children. You never know, you may have just given them their first meal they’ve had all day.

    • ange says

      This is how we choose to see one of the kids that comes over here. We teach and model what we expect, and if we don’t have the money or means of feeding him, I always offer peanut butter and jelly. I don’t know his story, and choose to be kind. Not that I don’t vent about it to my husband, but to the kid, I try to be firm but compassionate.

  41. says

    I have a whole series of posts on my blog called “Letters to Asshat Parents” so when I read your piece I was like, “YES! YES! And YES!” My husband came running in all excited until he saw I was just reading an article. My kids are older now, but the memories of little kids in school inviting themselves over to play is still fresh. And not much annoys the crap out of our entire family then little kids who stand up in their booths in restaurants and stare at us while we eat (which their parents think we should enjoy, obviously, as they don’t make them STOP EFFING STARING AT US). Thank you for being brave and saying what so many of us are thinking!! :)

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