I met my husband the old-fashioned way—at a bar, after a round of tequila shots.
Back in the late nineties, when I told my family that I’d met someone “special,” the fact that I had met my husband-to-be in a place called “Planet Fred’s” embarrassed my parents beyond measure. Of course, this only made me find him even more attractive.
Some people might say that the overwhelming combination of alcohol, loud music, and crowds found in bars is not very conducive to the pursuit of serious relationships. I call those people, and I raise them fifteen years, three kids, and two dogs.
A full house always wins.
You can meet your husband in a bar and live happily ever after. And yet, according to eHarmony’s website, only nine percent of married couples claim to have met their spouse at a bar, in a club, or at a social event. That number is slightly higher than the number of couples who say they met at church, but much lower than the 38 percent of couples that claim they met at work or school.
I call BS.
I get it. We often long to make our personal stories—the casual ones we share with people that don’t know us very well—more appropriate, more acceptable, more ideal. I myself am no stranger to this impulse. There was a time when I didn’t readily share the fact that I once gave my husband—a boy I just met, one that I may or may not have locked lips with on the dance floor—all my digits just because I thought he was “super cute.” The tale ends well, but the fear of judgment, and the fear of feeling like my love story is lesser than other people’s, has often led me to default to other, more “family-friendly” versions.
But it is the truth, and I have slowly learned to embrace it over the past decade-and-a-half. Because where my husband and I met is just one tiny sliver of our story—just the first line in a full life.
And there are some great reasons why meeting your spouse in a bar can be a positive thing, including:
1. You keep your creative juices flowing by constantly developing new story lines for your hookup. At the first family event I took my husband to, we stuck to the story of meeting through “mutual friends.” Lame, but sort of true. On a different occasion, when asked how I’d met my husband by a group of women I didn’t know, I panicked and told them of an elaborate set-up coordinated by his friends and mine (not even remotely true). And when I tell the story to our kids, I keep it top level: we met in Washington, D.C., while Daddy was visiting “Uncle” Michael.
2. You can cling to the belief that because it was a random encounter, it must have been “destiny.” Fate. Finding your soulmate. How else would you explain it?
3. Meeting your beloved in a bar gives hope to the millions of men and women who go out for “Thirsty Thursday” in the quest to find The One. You can find love—true, unbridled, like-a-scene-from-The Notebook love—anywhere, including a bar. You just have to weed out the crazies, like the guy who keeps checking himself out in the mirror behind the bar, or the one who just ended a seven-year relationship and wants to psychoanalyze the break-up. Run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit.
4. If it’s good enough for Matt Damon, it’s good enough for me. While Matt was in Miami Beach in 2003 filming Stuck on You, he and Luciana met while she was bartending at The Crobar. Twelve years later and they’re still going strong.
5. We make online dating legit. When people dis eHarmony, or Match, or FarmersOnly, the retort from people who met online is always: “At least we didn’t meet in a bar!”
This original piece by Whitney Fleming was written exclusively for In the Powder Room, a division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. Featured image © depositphotos.com/STYLEPICS.