We commissioned original short stories from forty of the funniest women we know.
Here they are, the perfect mix of women authors for our first humor anthology, “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth” and Other Things You’ll Only Hear from Your Friends In The Powder Room.
Wendi Aarons is an award-winning humor writer and blogger who lives in Austin, Texas with her husband and two sons. In the past few years, she has written for a large number of publications including McSweeneys, and for Esther’s Follies, Austin’s famous comedy revue. She is the 2012 winner of “Funniest Blog” from Parents Magazine, a writer for the US Weekly Fashion Police and has spoken on humor writing at the BlogHer, Mom Com and Mom 2.0 conferences. Wendi is also the co-producer/director of the live stage show Listen To Your Mother Austin, and is one of the creators of The Mouthy Housewives(MouthyHousewives.com) and the much-lauded Twitter feed @paulryangosling.
Keesha Beckford was a professional dancer who performed in the U.S. and in Europe before her two children re-choreographed her life. Today she teaches modern and jazz dance in the Chicago area. She is also the human cyclone behind the popular blog Mom’s New Stage. A multitasker at heart, she shows fierce skills at simultaneously writing, choreographing, checking Facebook and Pinterest updates, playing the role of a mother named Joan “Kumbaya” Crawford, and overcooking food. Her writing has been featured on Mamapedia, The Huffington Post, and in the bestselling anthology I Just Want to Pee Alone. Connect with her on Twitter @MomsNewStage.
Kim Bongiorno is an author, freelance writer, and blogger. Best known for hitting with the funny then surprising with the sweet on her blog Let Me Start By Saying, she has also been published in three additional books, writes for various websites, was selected as a 2013 BlogHer Voice of the Year, and is both a staff writer and the Social Media Manager at In The Powder Room. Kim lives in New Jersey with her handsome husband and two charmingly loud kids. Learn more on her author website Kim Bongiorno Writes and connect with her on Twitter @LetMeStart.
Andrea C., also known as “DG,” is the one of the leading experts in the field of Domestic Engineering. She currently lives with her husband, three sons and three cats in the Lakes Region of New Hampshire where her days are filled with giggles, Legos, and an endless supply of Greek food. When she is not pretending to work, begrudgingly cleaning up urine from in and around the toilet, or dutifully cooking for an army, she gives her extra time to two local charities that provide clothing and personal hygiene supplies to underprivileged children. Andrea has been featured in The Huffington Post and was named one of Circle of Moms’ Top 25 Funniest Mom Bloggers in 2012. Andrea is also a contributor to the best-selling book I Just Want to Pee Alone. Connect with DG on her blog, Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess, and on Twitter @DomesticGoddss.
Liz Dawes is a creative writer, editor, and copywriter, and a staff writer at In The Powder Room. She is also a weekly columnist for Fighting Fifty, and is finishing her first book. When not writing, Liz is a mother, gardener and lover of gin o’clock. She lives between London and the South coast of England with her two children, husband, stepdaughter and collection of ungrateful and willfully disobedient pets. Liz can be found over at her writing business, LiveLifeWrite.com, and on Twitter @LizDawes.
Erin Dymowski is half of the dynamic writing duo sharing the blog, The Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms, but she and Ellen don’t share everything. Erin has 5 kids with her husband Steve and Ellen has two kids with her husband Frank. They’ve got parenting covered from kindergarten to high school. Their blog is like a good Girls’ Night Out conversation: full of shared stories, advice, book recommendations, and recipes; dosed heavily with humor and a dash of snark; and sprinkled with truth and honesty softened with sweetness. They are Pinterest ninjas, carpoolers extraordinaire, and Nikon warriors. They are pleased to be honored as BlogHer 2013 Humor Voices of the Year, but be sure to ask them about their gold medals in competitive synchronized litter box scooping, too. You can connect with them on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter @SensibleMoms.
Janie Emaus is the author of the time travel romance, Before the After, and the young adult novel, Mercury in Retro Love. She is a staff writer at In The Powder Room and blogs frequently for The Huffington Post, Better After 50, and Generation Fabulous. She is proud to be named a 2013 BlogHer Voice of the Year. Janie believes that when the world is falling apart, we’re just one laugh away from putting it together again. To learn more about Janie visit her blog TheBoomerRants.com and her website JanieEmaus.com. You can connect with her on Facebook and Twitter @Janie5010.
Lady Estrogen is a WAHM with 2.5 kids from Toronto’ish, Canada. A communications and creative media director, she uses her zero bullshit attitude in her work, sex life, and as a mother. It doesn’t always go over very well, but she’s used to getting in trouble. Find her ranting and swearing on Twitter about any given topic @LadyEdotMe, and at her highly enlightening, slightly vibrating, often neglected blog, www.ladye.me.
Suzanne Fleet is a writer and SAHM of two stinky boys who works hard to exercise her family’s sense of humor by writing about them on her blog, Toulouse & Tonic. Suzanne’s writing has won her numerous runner-up trophies and honorable mentions over the years. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Except for that time she was a bride. Connect with her on Twitter @toulouseNtonic.
Amy Flory and her husband made two kids: a four-year-old girl and a six-year-old boy. She does not consider herself a housewife, as she owns no pearls and only one apron. Amy has been featured on BlogHer, Aiming Low, Mamapedia, Scary Mommy, and Bonbon Break, and is a contributor to the best-selling book, I Just Want to Pee Alone. You can find her laughing at the absurdity of parenting on Facebook and Twitter @FunnyIsFamily, and pinning things she’ll never do on Pinterest. She writes embarrassing stories about herself and her family at FunnyIsFamily.com.
Kim Forde writes about the art of perfecting domestic failure on her blog, The Fordeville Diaries. A former NYC resident, she now is a secret suburban convert at home with her three young kids, managing her Starbucks addiction and healthy fear of craft stores. Kim has written for several parenting and humor blogs, and was recognized as a 2013 Humor Voice of the Year by BlogHer. She is also a contributor to the best-selling anthology, I Just Want to Pee Alone, and recently appeared in the New York City production of Listen to Your Mother. Armed with a keyboard and an addiction to storytelling, she spends more time on blogging and social media than she’s prepared to admit. Connect with her on Twitter @fordeville.
Rebecca Gallagher is a blogger, mom, wife and poop scooper, not necessarily in that order. She writes at her blog, Frugalista Blog, which isn’t about couponing. She likes movies, Daniel Craig, tea and lip gloss. She can be found driving her mini van to PTA meetings and heading to Target in yoga pants and cashmere. She spends too much time on Pinterest checking beauty tips and not enough time cleaning her house. You can find her on Twitter @FrugieBlog.
Julie C. Gardner is a former English teacher and author currently working on her second novel. The mother of two perpetually embarrassed teenagers and wife to one long-suffering husband, Julie was a BlogHer Voice of the Year in 2012. She also enjoys cheese more than most people. You can find @JulieCGardner on Twitter or visit her blog By Any Other Name at JulieCGardner.com.
Noa Gavin is a writer/improv comedian from Dallas, TX. Noa always wanted to be a comedian, having been raised on Carol Burnett, Lucille Ball, and Saturday Night Live and being generally unfit for “normal” work. She got her start being professionally funny on her comedy blog, OhNoa.com and was chosen as a BlogHer Humor Voice of The Year in 2011. Noa trained in improv at Dallas Comedy House, where she regularly performs sketch and improv. Connect with her on Twitter @OhNoaG.
Stephanie Giese is a wife and mother of three who spends her days sticking out like a sore thumb in the middle of Amish country. More of Stephanie’s writing can be found on her blog, Binkies and Briefcases and on stephaniegiese.com. She has been previously featured on In The Powder Room and The Huffington Post. Stephanie made her debut in print as one of the co-authors of the humor anthology I Just Want to Pee Alone. Her first children’s book is scheduled for release in 2014. Connect with her on Twitter @binkiesandbrief.
Allison Hart writes the humorous and (sometimes brutally) honest blog Motherhood, WTF? Her tagline is: “I’m the mom who makes you feel better about your parenting.” She does this by saying the things that other moms have the good sense to only think. Motherhood, WTF? has received numerous awards and accolades over the years in Allison’s imagination. In real life, it was listed by Babble as one of the Top 100 Mom Blogs of 2012 and by Circle of Moms as a Top 25 Humor Mom Blog in both 2011 and 2012. Allison’s work has been featured on BlogHer, In The Powder Room, and Scary Mommy. When not banging her head against the wall and repeating herself to her children, she can be found on Facebook and Twitter @motherhoodwtf.
Abby Heugel is an editor for employment, and an award-winning humor writer and blogger at AbbyHasIssues.com for enjoyment. Her work has been featured on The Huffington Post, Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, and other websites, but she doesn’t want to brag. However, she considers the fact that she has managed to keep her fake tree alive for almost five years, and can still do the splits all three ways, among her greatest accomplishments. Connect with her on Twitter @AbbyHasIssues.
Angie Kinghorn is a lifelong North Carolinian and a sorority girl turned Junior League dropout. Her work has been published in Precipice: The Literary Anthology of Write on Edge, and the BlogHer 2012 Voices of the Year compilation. She’s a firm believer in God, dark chocolate, and the Oxford comma. Friends predict that the availability of Sharpies combined with society’s affinity for bad grammar will eventually get her arrested. She writes at AngieKinghorn.com, and you can follow her on Twitter @AngieKinghorn.
Leslie Marinelli is a writer, wife, mother of three, toilet humor aficionada, and transplanted Pittsburgher trapped in the suburbs of Atlanta. She’s a weekly columnist and the Editor-in-Chief of In The Powder Room, as well as the creative force behind the riotous blog The Bearded Iris: A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All. Leslie was named a BlogHer Humor Voice of the Year in 2013 and 2012, and a Babble Top 100 Mom Blogger in 2011. She is the editor of “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth” as well as one of the contributing authors. Connect with Leslie on Twitter @TheBeardedIris.
Poppy Marler is a runner, writer, and mother of three. In between Nyquil martini benders and triathlon training, she can be counted on to look up from her iPhone long enough to shuttle a teenager to the mall or dole out requisite maternal affection. Poppy blogs at the hilariously underrated parenting blog, FunnyOrSnot.com, and healthy lifestyle blog, Facing40.com. Connect with her on Twitter @PoppyJMarler.
Janel Mills is a librarian raising three beautiful little girls with her beardedly gifted husband. Surprisingly, killer research skills and a knack for literary analysis have not helped her figure out how to get everyone dressed and out the door on time in the morning. She writes about raising a princess, a wild child, and the happiest toddler on Earth using as many curse words as possible on her blog 649.133: Girls, the Care and Raising Of. You can see how many times she can use the f-bomb within 140 characters on Twitter @649point133.
Lisa Newlin is a humor blogger who plays an unconvincing lawyer in real life. She shouldn’t be allowed around sharp objects, anything breakable, or anything with carbohydrates. She prefers dogs over most people, and food over most everything. Her blog, LisaNewlin.com will make you feel better about your own life and remind you that vodka is the answer to everything. Except if the question is “What should I throw on this fire?” Then the answer is definitely NOT vodka. Connect with her on Twitter @Lisa_Newlin.
Tarja Parssinen grew up in Saudi Arabia and moved back to the States when she was 15. After earning her degree from Cornell University and performing with the sketch comedy group The Skits-O-Phrenics, she moved to New York City and worked at The Ad Council and Random House Publishing. In 2006, she moved to the Bay Area with her husband, where she launched two baby boys (now four and one) and a writing career. Tarja’s work has appeared in various magazines and humor sites, on NPR, and at her website, The Flying Chalupa, where she strives to have a voice. A voice that doesn’t have to count to three. Connect with her on Twitter @TheFlyingChlupa.
Deborah Quinn is, variously, a writer, professor, wife, mother, and former PTA president of a Manhattan public school, an experience that has equipped her for a possible second career as a military diplomat. In 2011, after more than 20 years in NYC, she and her family moved to Abu Dhabi. Now she is ambivalent about two continents. Her work has been syndicated on BlogHer and she writes regularly for the Abu Dhabi newspaper, The National.She has written a YA novel titled The Time Locket. Connect with Deborah on her blog, Mannahattamamma.com, and on Twitter @ mannahattamamma.
Alexandra Rosas is a first-generation American who has been writing memoir and humor since 2006. BlogHer named her a 2011 Voice of the Year for Humor, a 2012 Voice of The Year for Parenting, and a 2013 Voice of the Year for Heart. Alexandra has been published in various humor and writing websites and is a regular contributor for Aiming Low, Sprocket Ink, Funny not Slutty,TikiTiki Blog, and MilwaukeeMoms. A Babble Top 100 Mom Blogger, you can find her living online at her personal blog Good Day, Regular People, and offline with her husband and three children in Cedarburg, Wisconsin. Connect with her on Twitter @GDRPempress.
Kerry Rossow is a recovering teacher who decided to stay home, wrangle her four children and blog about her life shenanigans. Kerry tries to avoid restraining orders while she stalks features local houses on her blog, HouseTalkN. You can also find Kerry In The Powder Room sharing stories that make you feel better about yourself. Kerry joined some of the funniest mothers in the blogosphere to bring you the best selling book I Just Want To Pee Alone. Fulfilling a lifelong desire to perform on stage without throwing up, Kerry joined the cast of Listen To Your Mother, Giving Mother’s Day a Microphone. You can keep up with Kerry’s shenanigans on Twitter, @HouseTalkN.
Anna Sandler is a writer and mom living happily ever after in scenic New Jersey with her charming husband and three delightful children. Anna blogs about motherhood and mayhem on RandomHandprints.com and shares husband humor on the Facebook page, Instructions for my Husband. Anna is a regular contributor to New Jersey Family magazine and The Huffington Post, and was selected as a 2013 BlogHer Humor Voice of the Year. She wants you to know that a few details of this story have been exaggerated, as they should be in any good Bubbe Meise (tall tale). Connect with her on Twitter @Anna_Sandler.
Angela Shelton is an acclaimed filmmaker, author, actor and public speaker. Her multi-award winning film Searching for Angela Shelton put a spotlight on sexual abuse and domestic violence and began a grassroots movement of healing for abuse survivors worldwide. Angela has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Live, 48 Hours Investigates, NPR, Lifetime Television for Women, The Ricki Lake Show, and the cover of the New York Times. She now lives in the country, married to her first love, and is fulfilling her dream of writing books in a barn house while still doing her service work. Come visit AngelaShelton.com and find out more about her life, including how she’s following her grandmother’s advice, and connect with Angela on Twitter @AngelaShelton.
Shari Simpson was a BlogHer ’12 Voice of The Year in Humor which was terribly exciting until she realized she still had to clean her own toilets. She is the co-author of the comedy Maybe Baby, It’s You (Dramatic Publishing, Inc.), the evil semi-genius behind the blog Earth Mother just means I’m dusty, writes for In The Powder Room and Cool Mom Picks, and creates and performs in comedy videos for NickMom. Shari is devoted to her church, bemused husband, three children (two human, one pug), and her crazy Italian mother. Oh, and Pickles and Aunt Candy. Of course. Connect with her on Twitter @DustyEarthMom.
Mere Smith is a recovering Southerner, as well as a longtime TV writer (Angel, Rome), author (Cowface, The Blood Room), and blogger. She can be found at EvilGalProductions.com, or on Twitter @EvilGalProds.
Meredith Spidel blogs at TheMomOfTheYear.net, dedicatedly earning her title one epic parenting fail at a time. When her kids aren’t busy pummeling each other with Legos or requiring their 16th sippy cup refill of the day, she tries to offer quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents of the world and all their empathizers. She remains entirely terrified by crafts, promises to never share any useful household tips, and is fully committed to a less serious look at the world of parenting. Social media is beyond her comprehension, but she makes a pass at Twitter (@meredithspidel) and Facebook (themomoftheyear).
Julie Stamper is a mother of three teen-ish people and is a Master Columnist. She blogs at ADayInTheWife.com, where she documents the mastery of ruining childhoods and being dirty, both literally and figuratively. She’s on Twitter at @juliethewife and Facebook at A Day In The Wife, but has only started to dabble in the crack that is Pinterest.
Suniverse has spent lo these many years perfecting her use of swears and snarking in the third person. She’s written for In the Powder Room, Funny not Slutty, Aiming Low, and Studio 30 Plus. You can find her waxing rhapsodic with four-letter words at her blog, The Suniverse, on Twitter @TheSuniverse, and keeping a low profile on Facebook at The Suniverse. She denies taking part in TP-ing your house.
Bethany Thies is a writer and the proud mother to four, young Vikings. She is the author of the parenting blog, Bad Parenting Moments and the chronically unread poetry blog, Room for Cream. She can often be found searching for socks, keys, discount non-perishables and a bathroom lock her children cannot pick. Bethany’s work has been published on several parenting sites and, when they’ll have her, in old-fashioned black and white in her local, independent newspaper. Her children are unimpressed. Connect with her on Twitter @BPMbadassmama.
Dawn Weber is a wife of one (she thinks) a mother of two (that she knows of) a blogger at LightenUpWeber.blogspot.com and the writer of the “Lighten Up!” newspaper column in the Buckeye Lake Beacon, for which she won the 2011 National Society of Newspaper Columnists third place, humor award. She’s currently finishing her first book of humor essays and resides in Brownsville, Ohio (Motto: Indoor Plumbing Optional) with her family and an ever-changing series of dirty, ill-mannered pets. Her goals include thinner thighs, a nap, maybe a solo trip to Walmart. Connect with Dawn on Twitter @DawnLightenUp.
Robyn Welling is a freelance writer and humorist at Hollow Tree Ventures, where she isn’t afraid to embarrass herself—and frequently does. She loves sarcasm, sleep, beer, other bottled items, long walks on the beach, and her husband. Oh, and her kids are OK, too. Her goals include becoming independently wealthy, followed by world domination and getting her children to clean their rooms. Until then, she’ll just fold laundry and write about the shortcuts she takes on her journey to becoming a somewhat passable wife, mother, and human being. If history is any guide, she’ll miss the mark entirely; join her as she bumbles her way through life on Twitter @RobynHTV.
Lori Wescott is a thirty-something humorist and freelance writer residing in Music City. She is the creator of Awkward Smoking Pictures, which you can find among other places, on her blog Loripalooza—Where Funny Rocks. Her work has appeared in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Family Matters, as well as various newspapers. She’s been named Trophy Wife of the Year for ten years in a row according to one website (hers). When she’s not writing humor you can find her writing indie music reviews, falling down in public and taking care of her ginger son, Luke. Follow her on Twitter @LoriWescott and visit her blog Loripalooza.com.
Ellen Williams is the other half of the dynamic writing duo sharing the blog, The Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms, but she and Erin don’t share everything. Erin has 5 kids with her husband Steve and Ellen has two kids with her husband Frank. They’ve got parenting covered from kindergarten to high school. Their blog is like a good Girls’ Night Out conversation: full of shared stories, advice, book recommendations, and recipes; dosed heavily with humor and a dash of snark; and sprinkled with truth and honesty softened with sweetness. They are Pinterest ninjas, carpoolers extraordinaire, and Nikon warriors. They are pleased to be honored as BlogHer 2013 Humor Voices of the Year, but be sure to ask them about their gold medals in competitive synchronized litter box scooping, too. You can connect with them on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter @SensibleMoms.
Tracy Winslow is a SAHM trying not to raise a flock of assholes. Besides crafting cocktails with Zoloft, Tracy can be found cursing, crying into her coffee over her stretch marks, and Ouija-boarding her deceased metabolism. She was voted one of the Top 25 Funniest Moms of 2013 at Circle of Moms/PopSugar. Tracy is a weekly staff writer for In The Powder Room and a regular contributor to Families in the Loop, Mamas Against Drama, The Epistolarians, and Mamapedia. When she’s not trying to Brillo the image of naked hoo-has from her cerebellum, she can be found blogging at Momaical.com and Twatting @Momaical.
Amy Wruble is a writer and toddler mom who works from home, where she is carrying on a scandalous inter-office romance with the Jolly Green Giant. She blogs at Carriage Before Marriage and also writes for The Huffington Post, Babytalk, Parenting, Lifetime Moms, In The Powder Room, and Families in the Loop. Please connect with her on Twitter @Cb4M and Facebook (CarriageBeforeMarriage), her only adult social outlets.