Nancy B's Microscope for Girls: What Does HE Think? Another HILARIOUS satirical product review from D.J. Paris In the Powder Room.

Nancy B’s Microscope for Girls: What Does HE Think

Did you know that women can now become scientists? I didn’t! Boy, was my face red when at a cocktail party, I was introduced to a scientist named Jennifer. I nearly spat out my highball! I responded with: “Gosh, I didn’t know that you could earn a Ph.D. in cooking and cleaning!” Then, I playfully elbowed Jen in the ribs to assure her I was only joking. I mean, Gloria Steinem and all that stuff, right? Good on you, fairest gender!

My girlfriend has eight nieces and zero nephews. This means I’m constantly at Toys “R” Us buying Barbie dolls, which is awesome if you want a seven-year-old to understand the societal importance of having a size-0 waist and size-D bustline. And while I’m sure there’s a “Scientist Barbie” out there, complete with sexy lab coat and mini-microscope, why not go out and purchase a real microscope for the female youngster in your house? Introducing Nancy B’s Science Club Microscope and Activity Journal.

Wait… I’m sensing resistance. You’re afraid that since women are not traditionally associated with science that your daughter won’t be interested in the subject. Valid concern. Girls don’t do well with icky things. And, let’s face it—the sole job of a microscope is to amplify images of gross things swimming around in other gross things. There’s no getting around it. But Nancy B’s microscope attempts to mitigate the gross factor by coloring the scope in pink and purples. Girl colors!

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Grossness aside, do little girls really want to play with microscopes? We all remember science class. A real snooze-fest. That one day where we got to dissect a frog was cool, but only because the foreign exchange student puked in the corner. (Apparently kids from Brussels are uptight about frog blood.) Look, I had a microscope growing up. Santa must have mixed up the lists because I unwrapped one on Christmas when I was nine. I tried to find some use for it, but there were no instructions or suggestions included. I spit on some slides and tried to see what was going on inside my saliva, but other than that, the microscope sat unused.

Thankfully, Nancy B’s microscope comes with lots of experiments and even a journal to report findings. Now that you have a nerd in the house, put her to work! Have your daughter check one of daddy’s discarded toenails for signs of fungus. Worried you’re pregnant? Give her a blood sample and let your ten year old tell you if it’s time to shop for pinks or blues.

Who knows—maybe one day she’ll even get into medical school and grow up to be a successful doctor! It’s good to have pipe dreams, right?

Nancy B's Microscope for Girls: What Does HE Think? Another HILARIOUS satirical product review from D.J. Paris In the Powder Room.

This original piece by D.J. Paris was written exclusively for In the Powder Rooma division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. This post contains an Amazon affiliate link, which helps us continue to bring you outstanding content like this. Thank you for your support In the Powder Room!

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D.J. Paris is a humor blogger whose website ThoughtsFromParis confuses everyone because it’s not about France. Almost 150k people follow him on Twitter which he hopes impresses you. D.J. is also the keynote speaker at BlogU’s 2016 conference, so come out and listen to him wax poetic about his favorite subject – himself. He’s excited to be published In the Powder Room because it’s about the only website he thinks is funny enough for his prose. Find him on Twitter, Facebook, and on his humor blog, which is currently #4 on Google for “dick stories.” Seriously. Look it up.

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  1. says

    We never had a toy microscope at our house. We had the real deal. My dad was a country veterinarian, and he kept one in his office, which was attached to our house. It was usually decorated with some variety of manure rather than pink or purple paint. This prolly explains why my sisters never showed any interest in it.