A surprising story of how an accountant won first prize for most erotic costume at an Adult Film Industry Halloween party!

My Night as a Porn Star

In a previous life, I worked in the adult video industry.

Contrary to playground gossip, I was not in front of the camera. Rather, I used my creative energy to produce boner-inducing ad copy and well-balanced financial statements.

I have to admit, it was one of the best jobs I’ve ever had. The perks were many: the opportunity to watch porn whenever my husband and I wanted (or needed), a multitude of sex toys always at our disposal, and the pleasure of attending several Adult Video Award ceremonies.

RELATED: Falling Into Porn

Eventually, these events inspired us to begin hosting a yearly Halloween event—the Almost Erotic Halloween Party. (At the time, we were also very involved in Little League. And the porn biz and kid’s baseball mix about as well as oil and water. Which is why, in order to include everyone, we added the word “Almost”.)

Along with providing food, drinks and a spa, we also held an annual raffle, and a contest for the Most (and Least) Erotic Costume.

Some of our more timid friends arrived in flannel pajamas and snuggly bathrobes. The closet “hoochie mamas” shed their daytime secretary and teacher personas and dressed as French maids, vampy pussy cats, and sexy witches. Some of the men came in full drag. And then there was the exhibitionist who came totally naked and covered in body paint. (She arrived late, by the way.)

At the time, I was in my forties, and I have to say that my body was the best it had ever looked. My boobs, although small, were still perky. My thighs had yet to enter the cottage cheese decade. And my butt still had just the two cheeks.

One year I wore a garter belt, black lace stockings and an outfit much like something Cher had worn during one of her performances. And I looked hot! So much so, in fact, that I won for Most Erotic Costume that year. I was completely embarrassed—the hostess winning! Can you imagine?

But of course, after much protesting on my part, I graciously accepted the large basket of lubricants, assorted vibrators, and other sex products that I myself had purchased. And that, in all honestly, I couldn’t wait to use.

The rest of the evening, I strutted around, feeling sexy and desirable. The next day I went back to being my normal self—at least, normal for me. But I couldn’t help reflecting that every woman needed to experience a night like this.

At least once in their lives.

This original piece by Janie Emaus was written exclusively for In the Powder Rooma division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. Featured image © AlexSmith via depositphotos.com.

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Janie Emaus is the author of the time travel romance, Before the After, the young adult novel, Mercury in Retro Love, and a co-author of In the Powder Room’s hilarious best-selling anthology You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth. Janie blogs for The Huffington Post, Purple Clover, The Mid and Midlife Blvd. She is proud to be named a 2013 BlogHer Voice of the Year. Janie believes that when the world is falling apart, we’re just one laugh away from putting it together again. To learn more about Janie visit her blog www.theboomerrants.com and her author website www.JanieEmaus.com.

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  1. says

    First off- the ‘just two cheeks’ line is hysterical!
    And how fun! It makes me sad that so many women are afraid or just too uncomfortable to embrace even a little sexy.
    I dressed as Lilly VonSchtupt from Bkazing Saddles one year – bustier and all- and our daughter exclaimed she was ‘scared for life’ but was willing to take photos and still laughs about it.
    I think it was secretly good for her to see Mom comfy in her own skin!

  2. says

    One Hot Mama you must have been! My boobs gave up on being perky in my 30s after I’ve had kids, so lucky you Janie. Double lucky actually, since you can write about anything, sex, porn, you name it, and they like you at “In the Powder room”. Me, no matter what I try, they don’t seem to like me at all:) Loved the porn story though!
    Abby

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