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See this spot? This is my spot. You aren’t allowed to be in my spot. I don’t care if it was your spot before it was my spot, it’s my spot now. My spot.
I get a little territorial with my spot in Pilates class. I like to position myself along the left wall, in the second row. When my class started filling up with workout revivalists after New Years, I started coming to my class a full 10 minutes earlier so no one would get my spot. MY SPOT, bitches.
Did I mention that this class is mostly 45-65 year old women? Come summer, a lot of them will bring their teen/college-aged daughters to class. This summer proved to be no different. One of my spot neighbors had her daughter in class today. I know this because her daughter had a mat in my spot when I showed up. When my spot neighbor moved the mat to the space in front of her daughter, I immediately moved my mat back up into my spot. ’Cause it’s my spot.
I’m fine with this. I’m in my spot, she’s in her spot. We’ve got some good personal space in our respective spots. The class fills up and we start. Five minutes in, a new person walks in. She’s young and confused. She picks up a mat and heads to one of the only empty spaces left, then changes her mind at the last second and heads towards my neighbor’s daughter, because my neighbor’s daughter is her friend, of course. She then places herself in between my neighbor’s daughter and my spot.
The reaction I had inside my body was much bigger than this. I was actively repressing rage. I moved over to my right a little, but come on, there is not enough space for this bullshit. We then did some exercises in which we kept brushing up against each other because she was on top of me. She giggled as I drilled an icy hole into her brain with telepathy. Who does this girl think she is, wedging her way into my spot.
Next, we bring out the resistance bands.
Instructor: “Now be sure to place the band flat along the ball of your foot. I don’t want you flinging this thing into your eye!”
Me (to myself, pointing and flexing my foot in the air): I bet miss no-personal-space over here (point) will fling a resistance band into her eye (flex) because she is oblivious, does not take this class or this space seriously, (point) and obviously has never been to an exercise class be— (flex)
I then fling the resistance band into my own eye.
That resistance band in my eye taught me a valuable lesson today. I realized that life is short, and someone squeezing into my spot in Pilates isn’t going to ruin everything. I don’t need to passive-aggressively make this girl feel like crap because she wanted to be next to her friend. I felt terrible about being such a curmudgeonly jerk and tried to make things right by smiling more in her general direction. I also put her weights away at the end of class. I don’t think she noticed.
Ungrateful little shit.
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