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I am not a fan of plastic surgery. Not because of any moral or feminist issues about society’s pressure on women to look young. Nope, I am not a fan of plastic surgery simply because I do not believe in self-inflicted pain, the kind that comes with needles, surgery and the discomfort of the healing process.
This is not some irrational dislike of something that I’ve never tried, like eating cow’s brains, because as they say, “I’ve had some work done.”
No, nothing exciting like a tummy tuck or liposuction (both of which would be welcome changes now that I’m just north of 50). Nonetheless it was a procedure that helped me feel better about myself and allowed me to face the world with a little more confidence.
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And while my little body tweak did come with a certain amount of pain and discomfort, which was enough for me to swear off elective surgery, I don’t for one second deny anyone else’s desire to surgically alter their body. I may take issue with people who take it a bit too far (who can forget the surgical transformation of Kenny Rogers or Bruce Jenner and have you seen Suzanne Somers lately?) But even then, if it makes them happy, who am I to judge.
But when I saw a video of a woman who had undergone a “procedure” for something that I’ve always wished that I had, I thought, “Well how bad could it be?” After all, who wouldn’t want a pair of those—so eye-catching, so flattering, so…well…you know.
I mean, who among us wouldn’t love to have dimples. Not the cottage cheese variety you find on your ass but the cute adorable kind that make your face sparkle.
Yes, technically it’s a deformity but no one has ever said, “Oh no, your baby has dimples.” Nope, it’s more like, “Oh, look how cute, when she smiles you can see her dimples!”
After all, look at what dimples can do for attractive people.
Take someone like Jennifer Garner. She’s a very pretty woman but add her dimples and she turns into a girl-next-door kind of pretty, the perfect wife, mother, and best friend.
The same can be said for Kate Middleton. Before Princess Diana, the royal family was, well, let’s face it, generally unfortunate looking. So when William found Kate, he not only saw the opportunity to improve the gene pool, but he probably took one look at her dimples and knew he had found his future Queen.
And it’s not just women. Who hasn’t swooned over Brad Pitt, Matthew McConaughey or Bradley Cooper? All three are undeniably handsome but it’s their dimples that give them that oh so sexy boyish charm.
But surgery? And those needles, that pain and the discomfort. Forget it. I’ve gone this long without dimples, what are another 50 years or so?
No, if I want dimples, I’ll just have to wait for the dimples in my knees and ass cheeks to come into vogue.
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