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Breastfeeding a toddler is not child abuse
I had the pleasure of riding the London underground this week. As I sat amongst the sweaty mess that is the commuting population of the capital city I heard a baby start to cry. Doing my best to try and block out the familiar noise my eyes refused to obey and they sought out the sound. To the left of me sat a woman who was desperately trying to rock her son off to sleep; he must have been about a year old. The crying was relentless, nothing seemed to be working and I was just on the verge of tossing the child a half eaten Twix when suddenly the mother popped out a breast and all was well with the world. The incessant wailing stopped and calm descended on the carriage.
Two stops later and it was time to disembark. I squeezed through the mass of people and half tripped off the tube behind two younger girls who collapsed in a heap of giggles on the platform.
"Did you, like, see that?" one snorted to the other.
"Like, oh my God, she just got out her boob. That. Is. Disgusting," commented the second.
"The kid had teeth and everything," went on the first. "It is like child abuse, and I bet she likes being bit."
I walked on and away, climbing the escalator two steps at a time feeling oddly ashamed and slightly murderous both at the same time.
You see, I am one of those...
Yes, I am a lactator...
My child is over two and she still feeds from the breast.
Normally I couldn't give a rat's ass what anyone else thinks but to be compared to a child abuser? That stung a little.
I have no intention of defending why I still breastfeed, but maybe for those of you who are curious, you may want to know why....
For my daughter and me, breastfeeding makes both our hearts sing a little. When the morning breaks, we start the day in an embrace where she nestles at my breast and together we doze on, both caught in happy thoughts. As the night begins to fall, we kiss goodbye to the day with a hug that starts at my bosom and finishes with a kiss on the lips as her eyes start to close.
It makes us happy, as my daughter has not had an easy start to her life. In the last two years she has endured epilepsy and three months bound in a spica cast - boobie has been her constant. Had she been born healthy, I very much doubt anything would be different, boobie would still be around, but I would be writing about it a little differently.
Will I stop?
I imagine so. It is unlikely she will welcome me in my fifties flopping out a boob to line her stomach at her graduation before she hits the bar?
But rest assured it will be in our own time, not when society tells us so.
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Comments (24)
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Report Mon Sep 3, 2012 - 6:22 pmI as a Father and male feel I have to say this. Society today has become so un-natural it must be the social control and food people are fed, they feed their kids all kinds of deadly foods especially junk food their minds are so so far away from Nature. Breast-feeding is far more important and natural, females have breasts, we know this from birth it is the Capitalists who are poisoning Nature, Capitalism would have you to believe their filth is more important than what nature has to offer they have a greed and if they could they would sell Fresh air in bottles saying it is more healthier than breathing natural air and this society we all live in, would actually believe it to be the truth. Get rid of Capitalist ideas and return to nature and watch the greed flow back to the sewers it belongs. If there is anything wrong with Nature/ the natural, then it was the doing of Capitalist control. I challenge every single family and anyone who objects to my views, PLEASE ANSWER NOW WHAT ARE THE INGREDIENTS OF THE FOODS YOU FEED YOUR CHILDREN? WHAT ARE THE INGREDIENTS OF THE JUNK FOODS ESPECIALLY SWEET S AND THE SUCH YOU FEED YOURSELVES AND ESPECIALLY YOUR LITTLE LOVED ONES.Reply -
Report Sun Aug 26, 2012 - 2:41 pmHere, here. I feel exactly the same and will continue to blog about it too in the vain hope that attitudes will change one day. I am always completely crestfallen and disappointed when young girls have these attitudes and sincerely hope they are more enlightened when it comes to feeding their own babies.Reply
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Report Tue Aug 21, 2012 - 2:20 amand so it should be, wait till they are mums. Only then will they know and understand that relationship. Good on her and good on you. xReply
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1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 12:20 am
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Report Tue Aug 21, 2012 - 2:34 amHah - this could have been me 15 years ago... I swore that breastfeeding wasn't going to be for me, it was gross etc etc - fast forward and I have extend breast fed all 3 of mine!! Young, naive.........Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 12:20 am
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Report Tue Aug 21, 2012 - 2:47 amHow is it that we live in a society which makes women feel uncomfortable breast feeding in public but is happy to show the bare breasts of teenagers in its biggest selling newspaper?Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 12:20 am
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Report Tue Aug 21, 2012 - 5:39 amI got a lot of flack from society and from certain family members because I was still breastfeeding my child at 16 months (he's 18 months old now). I had no intention of stopping, except I found myself pregnant and the new pain in my breasts was excruciating. I can't believe that anyone would think it was BAD parenting to breastfeed. I spent so much of my early months trying not to offend people when out in public, but it didn't take long before I realised that I was doing what was right for my kid, and I should never be ashamed or embarrassed for it. When this new baby comes along, I fully intend to breastfeed again for as long as he or she wants. PS - it was especially useful on long-haul flights between the UK and US when I had a fussy baby!!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 12:19 am
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Tue Aug 21, 2012 - 9:24 am
I breastfed by daughter until she was 17 months old asking for "the boob." And in fact, it was her choice to stop. One night, she just didn't want it anymore. And would I do it again. You bet your boob I would.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 12:19 am
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Report Tue Aug 21, 2012 - 8:14 pmYoung girls hold all sorts of opinions, including the one that Justin Bieber is a God. And for this reason I'd dismiss those giggles and that ridiculous conversation you overheard as the mutterings of two girls yet to experience "real" life in all it's lovely non black and white, "this is how things are done", messy glory. Bless them. Great post.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 12:18 am
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Tue Aug 21, 2012 - 8:33 pm
Beautiful post. I breastfed my first one the longest....15 months...my 3rd gave it up at 9 months and I was sad. I loved the part in your post about her nestling at your breast. It made me realize I need to do more cuddling with my 3 year old!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 12:18 am
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Report Mon Aug 20, 2012 - 6:21 pmI'm feeding my 2 1/2 yr old. Its just the best! You never know what you are capable of until you start thejourney with your child. Its such a privilege and I hope when those girls mature a little they will change their minds about it!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Tue Aug 21, 2012 at 2:12 am
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Report Mon Aug 20, 2012 - 8:27 pmWell done you, and no you (we) are not child abusers! How sad it is that those young girls have already been conditioned to equate breasts with sexuality and not their true function. Unless they receive better education on the subject, they will become part fo the vast majrity who don't/can't breastfeed. A depressing thought, how very sorry I feel for their children. Feeding your child, along with the comfort it gives, is the greatest privilege, and like you, I have no intention of weaning my children until they area ready.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Tue Aug 21, 2012 at 2:12 am
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Report Mon Aug 20, 2012 - 9:07 pmHere here!! I did exactly the same on the tube yesterday and got some very strange looks (I was descreet) but funnily enough the one comment I did get was in the bobbie tent in lollibop with a new mum incredulous that I was still feeding Eliza!! I intend to go on as long as we both feel comfortable as I have with my others!!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Tue Aug 21, 2012 at 2:11 am
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Mon Aug 20, 2012 - 11:28 pm
Fuck them.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Tue Aug 21, 2012 at 2:10 am
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