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I don't do sexy
There is something about being a mother of three that makes you feel decidedly unsexy. Whether it is the breastfeeding, wiping arse's that aren't your own, or basically having your whole life ruled by three people who can't even ring a reasonably placed doorbell without help, once you have let your womb out for rent it is like you signed away your sexy with the tenancy agreement.
It's not like I don't want to be glamorous and alluring, but I have a new perception of the connotations of those words. Glamorous now means being in clothes that are snot-and-puke-free and alluring is something I think I become following a bottle of wine. The reality is a half cut woman badly dressed wearing puke and snot free clothes.
Recently I attempted to 'relight' the fire. I went all out! I dressed myself in black cotton knickers; they were the last pair in the drawer and had a slight hole. I pulled gently at the hole, took a slug of wine and called them crotch less. I pulled out a similar coloured bra, lit some candles, popped on a bit of Eva Cassidy and laid in a seductive pose on top of the covers.
Some thirty minutes later my other half came in search of me, finding me draped on the bed, wine glass in hand, sexily strewn amongst the pillows he sighed deeply and licked his lips.
I could see desire in his eyes, a desperate urge to consume me, to take me completely.
Then...
He marched across the room, yanked open the curtains, the impact of which blew out the candles.
"You can't lie around getting pissed all day," he stated irritably, "clearly washing needs to be done as you are in your emergency pants again, c'mon woman get up and turn that drivel off."
As I said... I don't do sexy!
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Comments (21)
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Report Tue Sep 11, 2012 - 3:14 pmThatÂ’s more than snesbile! ThatÂ’s a great post!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by digiprog III on Tue Apr 16, 2013 at 8:40 am
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Report Fri Feb 15, 2013 - 10:59 amThis particular is perhaps the most impressive blog pages I have go through in a very extended time. The quantity of details in here is wonderful, as if you essentially had written the book on the topic. Your blog is wonderful for anybody who desires to be familiar with this kind of topic more.Reply
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Report Mon Jan 28, 2013 - 4:59 amI hope you will continue your same best work and we will get more informative post which can helpful to us. Thanks for thisReply
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Report Mon Jan 21, 2013 - 6:51 amI hope you will continue your same best work and we will get more informative post which can helpful to us. Thanks for thisReply
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Report Sat Jan 5, 2013 - 4:18 amI hope you will continue your same best work and we will get more informative post which can helpful to us. Thanks for thisReply
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Report Fri Nov 2, 2012 - 4:03 pmI’m still reading your blog, however I’m enhancing myself. I definitely like everything that is written in your blog. Thanks for sharing…Reply
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Report Sat Aug 25, 2012 - 6:59 pmI love being sexyReply
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Report Tue Aug 7, 2012 - 3:38 amHilarious. I hope you told him that was his one and only chance this year and he just blew it (pun not intended!)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Jane @ northernmum on Tue Aug 7, 2012 at 9:40 pm
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Report Tue Aug 7, 2012 - 3:41 amLove it! Have to say that my OH would be delighted to find me like that though - any excuse for him - even if it was in emergency pants!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Jane @ northernmum on Tue Aug 7, 2012 at 9:39 pm
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Report Tue Aug 7, 2012 - 3:48 amAhahah! loved "getting pissed all day"! I just learned what that meant from a new friend from the UK....wow...are you friends with The Bearded Iris?? I think she gave up wine for Lent...he~larious!!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Jane @ northernmum on Tue Aug 7, 2012 at 9:39 pm
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Report Tue Aug 7, 2012 - 11:56 amHilarious! XReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Jane @ northernmum on Tue Aug 7, 2012 at 9:39 pm
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Report Tue Aug 7, 2012 - 12:29 amOh my God! I laughed hysterically at the image of him doing that to you! My co-workers now wonder (more than they did before) what's wrong with me...yes, this sounds like something that would have happened to me back in the day...Hilarious!!!!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Tue Aug 7, 2012 at 3:01 am
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Tue Aug 7, 2012 - 1:16 am
Oh that's good.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by northernmum on Tue Aug 7, 2012 at 3:01 am
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Report Mon Aug 6, 2012 - 5:34 pmThanks for sharing such an interesting information.Reply
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