I'll have what he's having
I was intending to write a counter-point to Glen's brilliant and hysterical 'Reflections of Man'. You should go read it right now! Go on. I'll wait.
Wow...fast reader! Isn't Glen a hoot?
My angle was going to be about how women also see totally distorted versions of themselves in the mirror...only in the opposite way than men. (Damn you, men! I swear back hair and self esteem are directly proportional.)
But it occurred to me, I really can't speak for any woman other than myself. And then I read a Daily Mail post titled 'There are downsides to looking this pretty': Why women hate me for being beautiful, by Samantha Brick, and I became quite confused.
Either Brick is looking in a men's funhouse mirror, or she completely blows my theory about women out of the water. She obviously doesn't hate what she sees when she looks in the mirror like some women I know (ahem).
Oh, are we being totally honest?
I have the exact opposite response of Glen (and Brick) when I look in the mirror.
Seriously, if you could hear my hateful inner dialogue most days you would surely diagnose me with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (among other things). Frankly, if anyone ever said the kinds of things to me that I say to myself, I would knock that bitch's lights out with a tire iron.
My eyes immediately go to the "flaws"...the areas I detest the most. Things like a new vein on my leg I hadn't noticed before or how my 42-year-old neck skin has recently started to succumb to gravity and is obviously trying to commandeer my chin. And don't even get me started on my sun-damaged face or thinning hair (which is obviously just migrating to my chin). Ack!
I don't let it ruin my day, but let's just say if I catch a man looking at me at the grocery store, I always check to see if my fly is down.
So when someone like Samantha Brick comes along with such an inflated sense of self-esteem, I can't help but wonder how does she do it? And can she spare a little ego for those of us who are so deficient in that department?
I have seen my young daughter brush her hair in the mirror, obviously pleased with the reflection she sees. It warms my heart. I hope she always sees herself like that, but not ever so much that she writes a column about how pretty she is and offends a global community with her conceit. Like my Mama always said: "Pretty is as pretty does."
Oh and by the way, Samantha Brick has never been a bridesmaid either! Although, I'm fairly certain that it is for an entirely different reason than mine. I'll have to see her dance moves though to know for sure.