Make sure you're home in time for dinner
Dear Regular Guy,
I cook my guy good meals throughout the week, he certainly doesn't go without, and yet I know he sneaks off and eats rubbish food at work sometimes. Also, some nights he looks at me crestfallen when I dish up something tasty and healthy that I've put a lot of effort into. What is this about?
I'm afraid this is all too common.
It's our old friend, Control, rearing its ugly again. Or the lack of it, to be more precise.
It isn't that he is ungrateful; it isn't that he is hungry or that he feels hard done by or mistreated. It's simply about having a choice.
Whatever your opinion of this may be, the simple fact is that in the majority of homes it is still the woman who does most of the cooking as well as the grocery shopping. It may not be fair but it is true that the week's diet is still very much under the woman's control for an awful lot of households.
The man, ever eager to be pandered to, relinquishes his right to define the name, the ingredients and the size of what goes onto his plate in favour of it magically appearing in front of him every night. Generally this suits him just fine.
He does appreciate what you do. He does understand that you are putting an awful lot of thought, time and energy into keeping him alive, healthy and happy. He does. Really.
He just wants to be heard.
To have a say.
He wants to be in control of his own meal again. To decide for himself what he is eating and how many potatoes he can have. Sometimes he wants Carbs, dammit. This control can be found by secretly eating something he shouldn't at work. Something he knows is banned at home. The more fattening it is the better. He's rebelling against the system and I'm sorry to say that YOU are, in fact, ‘them'. You are the system.
The people on the streets or at work complain of ‘Them' and ‘They'; the mythical overlords who control our lives, be it the government or our bosses. Husbands, however, complain of ‘She' and ‘Her'; different words but with very much the same meaning. Don't be too hard on him for indulging in the occasional secret pasty because it could be worse, he could be forming an army with your children to have you overthrown or doing ‘dirty' protests in the bathroom.
As for his occasional looks of displeasure at the table? Well, perhaps you might just have to accept that he really doesn't like tuna pasta.
At least, not the way you make it.