Olympic eye candy: There's something for everyone
Dear Regular Guy,
The Olympics are finally here and don't I know it? The TV is showing constant sport and my man is watching all of it. He seems obsessed with watching the most obscure sports - especially those that involve bikinis....
And he is absolutely right on this one.
It's the Olympics! The best of the best. It only happens once every four years and it has a universally massive effect. People learn about sports they have never even heard of and say, "Hey, I'd like to try that" or else they start supporting those that do.
It's a time of discovery. It's a time of inspiration.
Capturing live, that exciting moment of awe as someone you've never heard of from China blasts a ping-pong table to smithereens, has to be worth a couple of weeks off "Eastenders" doesn't it?
These people have dedicated their lives to this one single competition and all we have to do is watch. Is that too much to ask? If they just happen to be wearing a swimsuit, running knickers or a rather tiny bikini then all the better.
I for one am a big fan of synchronised swimming.
My suggestion is that you join in and share the thrill of seeing the world's best take on the rest. My wife puts up with my occasional comments about the swimmers or the divers or the beach volleyball teams because she knows something that perhaps you have forgotten.
For every female athlete, there is also a male one. There's an Olympic babe for everyone!
Generally, these male athletes - well, they don't look like me, let's put it that way. For every sexy sportswoman there is a sexy sportsman - often two. And I get it. I don't mind these guys looking how they do. They've earned their bodies. This is not the result of fad-diets or surgery. They have fought all their lives to get to where they are. Their bodies are a side effect of how hard they have worked. Who can begrudge them a few abs? Likewise the women, whose body shape I would normally berate as unhealthy, actually look great - they have their look because they are athletes and not just because they are vain and somehow that makes it ok. I'd still try and take some of them out for a kebab though, maybe some chicken wings - it's for their own good, you understand.
The Olympics give people a chance to be overtly patriotic without fear of political reprisal.
Did you see the opening ceremony? Athletes from countries that can't even bear to share a continent were walking into the same damned stadium waving and laughing. Women were allowed to the forefront to walk with pride by the flags from countries where they really aren't usually allowed to be seen doing this. This is the story of the Olympics - this is what it does. It was amazing to see those women, Suffragettes of their time, perhaps even the true babes of this tournament?
Whatever happens with Team GB's medal count, I for one am feeling pretty proud to be British right now. Not one single member of our team will put anything less than their best into their event as they take on the very finest athletes from all over our planet. At the end of the day, you just can't ask for more.