Bowling for beginners
Dear Regular Guy,
Two weeks ago, during a family trip to our local 10-pin bowling alley, both my mother-in-law and myself managed to beat my husband. He is still sulking about it and I am absolutely fed up.
Dear Mrs. Pin,
Were the bumpers up? For the kids? I bet they were. That is certainly the only explanation I can think of for what would otherwise sound completely impossible. How many times did your balls bounce off the bumpers?
As you are surely aware, men are better than women at 10-pin bowling. This is not just me being sexist or flippant because it is a fact; an actual bone-fide, medically proven fact. It's because we have an affinity with balls. Especially ones that make your fingers smell a bit rank (have you ever actually sniffed your fingers after you have been bowling? Don't try it whatever you do, just don't).
As I was saying - medically proven fact - men are better than women at bowling. Wives are, on the whole, officially women and so they must adhere to this simple genetic fact.
"Love, honour, obey, and never get any strikes." I didn't write the vows that you took-God did.
So there it is in black and white - God says that wives cannot beat their husbands at 10-pin bowling. That's pretty official and for all I know, God might be a woman so I for one don't suggest you try arguing with her about this. Trust me, arguing with a regular lady is pointless and scary enough so taking on a female deity will certainly result in some very severe earache. Especially if it just happens to be ‘no-begetting-week' - can you imagine the pain she would create? Actually, I wonder if that explains Piers Morgan?
And you say his mum beat him too?
His own mother?
There's no wonder he is sulking - I would be too. If the pair of you have taken advantage of those guards that were supposedly only there to help the children then you should be ashamed of yourselves. I imagine your man played fairly and never once used them while you cheated mercilessly. Carelessly hurling a bowling ball with your eyes closed and letting it bounce its way down the lane for yet another lucky spare does not make you good at bowling - it just makes you lucky. It also makes you mean.
Were there some other men about? Did they see? Did they look at the score board?
Oh that really does explain the sulk.
They will be laughing about that for months. I can't believe you could be so cruel to someone you supposedly love. How could you be so callous and cold? Cheating so openly to publicly ridicule the man you share your life with. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?
I mean . . .
How could you do that to HIM?