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An ode to shopping alone
It's that special time of year when I build a metaphoric bonfire of dollar bills in the Target parking lot fueled by light-up sneakers and 5,000 #2 pencils. It's back-to-school time.
But there is one special thing that remains safely tucked away deep inside Pandora's Pencil Box of School Supplies. Yes, like hope in the fabled Greek myth, freedom stays behind. Amidst the rushing of a gazillion folders and composition notebooks, freedom hangs back and says, "It's okay. They can't see you eat all the Oreos if they are at school." Freedom from my children. Freedom to shop alone.
I have written an ode to my sweet, sweet freedom. It goes like this:
Sharpies, highlighters, dry erase to buy.
New magnetic nail polish I've been dying to try.
There's Scotch tape, duct tape, trashy mommy mags.
Three spiral notebooks and wine with reduced price tags.
Glue sticks, school glue, what happened to rubber cement?
Pink erasers, mini staplers, my money's all spent.
But, I need some gym shoes in girl's size two.
Can't forget four lunch sacks, one the color blue.
I pass on jeggings, stick with leggings, consider clothes for the Y.
Like this pasta bowl with a rooster theme, a new book to try.
100-calorie packs, tissues for snot, cream for under-eye bags.
The twins need brand new tees; theirs are nothing but rags.
A latte from Starbucks now, cause shopping is hard.
But I'll be back tomorrow; I forgot to get index cards!
When the school bus comes I'll kiss the kids, "Sorry you can't stay!"
Then back inside to dive into Fifty Shades of Grey.
***Kiss the kids and wipe the tears, gals. I know we love them and will miss them. But, lets not keep Christian waiting.
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Comments (18)
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Fri Sep 7, 2012 - 9:18 am
...pffftt....finally a mother after my own heart! I wasn't wiping any tears. I may have giving my youngest a little thump on the butt to push him out the door and immediately locked it. Bravo! Your writing always draws me in, you are superb!Reply -
Report Thu Sep 6, 2012 - 5:22 amSo funny! And so true! And - wait. Your Target has WINE????Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Thu Sep 6, 2012 at 9:10 pm
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Wed Sep 5, 2012 - 7:11 pm
Love this lots.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 8:01 pm
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Report Wed Sep 5, 2012 - 1:42 amExcellent ode! Releasing that pent up demand is good for the economy. (I picked up 3 dresses, and a couch.)Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 8:00 pm
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Wed Sep 5, 2012 - 1:08 am
I will be reciting this to myself tomorrow, while painting my toe nails.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 3:28 am
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Report Wed Sep 5, 2012 - 12:04 amI cannot figure out this magnetic nailpolish stuff. I have a bottle but I'm totally confused. It would probably go up in flames in a pencil fire anyway.Reply
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3 replies, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 12:51 am
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Report Tue Sep 4, 2012 - 9:18 pmOh - I SO love this! My oldest is headed to preschool next week. I cannot wait. I won't exactly be alone - but 2 is better than 3, right!?Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 12:49 am
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Tue Sep 4, 2012 - 8:16 pm
What DID ever happen to rubber cement? I think in the 80's no one cared about safety and they gave us all the fumes we could sniff. All my money goes to shoes. Kind of like when I was cute and single, but these aren't for me. Holy crap can kids' feet grow fast!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Tue Sep 4, 2012 at 8:29 pm
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