In The Powder Room

Jun 21

The crappy mothers club

Comments (29) by Sandra C June 21, 2012 - 6:02 AM

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I've often said that I'm not a Disney mom.

A Disney mom is that mother that lets her kids have 10 kids over for a sleep-over. She also allows said children bake cupcakes at midnight. Even though she's ready to pass out from exhaustion. She'll even proceed to break out the candy sprinkles and buttercream frosting, and encourage the children to channel their inner artist by decorating said cupcakes.

I can name a hundred different things that a Disney mom does.

I can also say that I don't do any of the hundred different things that the Disney mom does.

I am the mother who doesn't sit in the dance studio watching her daughter rehearse.

I am the mother who asks another parent to bring her eight year old son to his soccer game, and isn't there when the kid gets the soccer ball kicked right in the face, requiring some other parent to run onto the soccer field while my child rolls around the ground crying.

I am the mother who forgets to pack her son a lunch when he has a school field trip, and so the teacher has to dig through her purse to find cracker bits and a cheese string for him.

I am the mother who sneaks away from the dance recitals and asks another mother to "text me when it's almost over so I can make it back, and she'll never know I was gone."

I am the mother who lies in her children's bed at night, and when they say, "Can you rub my back?" I reply, "No, but can you rub mine?"

I am the mother who says things like, "You wouldn't have tripped over that if you had paid attention," and "If  you'd studied more, you would have gotten a better grade."

However, I am that mother who when I ask my kids, "What do you love about me?" and they sit there, and think, and think, and think...aaaaand think, and finally say, "You're nice....and ummm...and you're pretty...and...ummm...I can't think of anything;" I am that mother who will laugh with them, because I can't think of anything either.

I am that mother who provides the requisite food, shelter, and plain ol' boring love.

And apparently, that's good enough.

Phew.

 

 

by Sandra C June 21, 2012 - 6:02 AM

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Comments (29)

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  Report Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 9:53 am

  by  Nicki

  Disney Moms make me want to vomit in my mouth.

  Reply Delete
• 1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Mon Jun 25, 2012 at 11:44 pm
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  Report Mon Jun 25, 2012 - 11:44 pm

  by  Sandra C

  @Nicki: I did vomit in my mouth a little just writing about the cake decorating at midnight.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Sun Jun 24, 2012 - 3:13 am

  by  Jam

  I think Disney mums are so fake they can make us sick so you are not alone in not being a Disney mum I'm not either but hell really mothers aren't but we are all loving mums and great mums have a life that doesn't revolve around just their kids............damn I can say the right stuff at times can't I now if only I was that mum you the know the one who's life doesn't revolve around just her kids..............lol

  Reply Delete
• 1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Mon Jun 25, 2012 at 11:43 pm
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  Report Mon Jun 25, 2012 - 11:43 pm

  by  Sandra C

  @Jam: Well the fact that you read and comment regularly (thank you!) and have your blog, clearly shows that you have a life that doesn't revolve around your kids! Rejoice! We are not Disney Moms!

  Reply Delete
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  Report Sun Jun 24, 2012 - 7:14 pm

  by  QueenBee

  I am that mother too, except I have let my children's friends come and stay the night, only after they were teenagers, but no more than two friends....and they had to be gone at 8am the next morning. Yes, 8 oclock in the dog gone morning. When I asked my kids what they loved about me, I got a response because I am mom. Um, duh, I did expect just a little bit more than that.

  Reply Delete
• 1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Mon Jun 25, 2012 at 11:41 pm
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  Report Mon Jun 25, 2012 - 11:41 pm

  by  Sandra C

  @QueenBee: I guess we take what we can get. I have a friend (she's a Disney Mom, imagine that!) and her daughters yell at her on a regular basis, "I hate you!" when they don't get what they want. I'll take the "I love you because you're my mom" any day.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 2:07 pm

  by  Clare Macnaughton

  Disney is fantasy. You are reality. Real mums are more reliable than fantasy mums because they actually exist.

  Reply Delete
• 2 replies, Last reply by Clare Macnaughton on Mon Jun 25, 2012 at 7:48 pm
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 8:19 am

  by  Sandra C

  @Clare Macnaughton: Thank you Clare ~writing this comment down to use on someone at a later date~

  Reply Delete
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  Report Mon Jun 25, 2012 - 7:48 pm

  by  Clare Macnaughton

  @Sandra C: Ha ha - I am real mum too. Not very good at colouring and cupcakes - but will be able to teach them how to slam a tequila when they come of age :0 and ties the fastest bowline in the west. Both much more important life skills!

  Reply Delete
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 7:50 pm

  by  middlechild

  Ah. But you will change once you have grandkids. Yup! Coffee with ice cream for breakfast (don't tell mom and dad.) Throwing food. Peeing outside - though I wouldn't let Meadow do it. Letting them loose with all your make-up in the bathroom. Getting "grounded" by your own daughter for things you did with their kids. Fun all day long!

  Reply Delete
• 4 replies, Last reply by middlechild on Sun Jun 24, 2012 at 10:28 am
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 11:54 pm

  by  C.B.

  @middlechild: Funny you would say that 'cause I remember playing with my grandfather's shaving foam (it was green and smelt great) so much that one day I went through 4 cans. He was pissed for about 5 minutes and I think that's the only time he lost patience with me......5 minutes in my entire childhood. I don't know how he still loved me.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 5:22 am

  by  Sandra C

  @C.B.: Because you're cute. And shaving cream isn't. :)

  Reply Delete
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  Report Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 5:22 am

  by  Sandra C

  @middlechild: Well maybe I'll change. The great thing about grandchildren is that you can give them back when you're done. Plus you'd be just plain ol' awesome to hang with! I want to have breakfast with you!

  Reply Delete
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  Report Sun Jun 24, 2012 - 10:28 am

  by  middlechild

  @Sandra C: Thanks! What would you like me to make? Cake or candy?

  Reply Delete
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  Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 7:54 pm

  by  rootietoot

  I'm the mother who laughed at my kid when he called at 2am from county lock-up, and said I'd consider bailing him out after I'd had a decent night's sleep. Then showed up at 10am because I wanted a good breakfast and needed to do some laundry.

  Reply Delete
• 3 replies, Last reply by Sandra C on Sat Jun 23, 2012 at 5:25 am
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 8:18 am

  by  Sandra C

  @rootietoot: And THAT, right there is why I love you!

  Reply Delete
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 2:59 pm

  by  rootietoot

  @Sandra C: He had done something incredibly stupid and needed to marinate in it for a bit. To be honest I didn't get a bit of sleep after he called but he didn't need to know that.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 5:25 am

  by  Sandra C

  @rootietoot: I agree, he didn't need to know that. Plus kuddos for staying home. THAT makes you a terrific mother. Not the one who rushes over to save the fricken day.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 3:52 pm

  by  Kim at Let Me Start By Saying

  I keep mine alive and make them laugh. Anything I manage above that should be considered a gift.

  Reply Delete
• 1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Sat Jun 23, 2012 at 5:25 am
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  Report Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 5:25 am

  by  Sandra C

  @Kim at Let Me Start By Saying: You are brilliant ~writing down your words to be used against them at a later date~

  Reply Delete
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 9:28 pm

  by  ChiTown Girl

  Reason #8475 I love you!!! I love that you aren't afraid to be HONEST. Yes, your children are just FINE, they love you more than anything else (even if they can't think of why! hahaha!) and we all know you love your children with every fiber of your being. Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't really know you. xoxox

  Reply Delete
• 1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Sat Jun 23, 2012 at 5:24 am
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  Report Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 5:24 am

  by  Sandra C

  @ChiTown Girl: No, I love YOU! ...don't we always end up having these love fests?

  Reply Delete
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 6:29 am

  by  lhewitt

  I understand about not being a disney mom, nobody really is, but I am hoping some of this is just to be funny. Right?

  Reply Delete
• 3 replies, Last reply by Sandra on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 7:56 pm
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 8:16 am

  by  Sandra C

  @lhewitt: Which part were you hoping was for fun? Tell me and I'll agree with you :) Honestly, I've done all of the above...not proudly, but yes, they have all occurred.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 4:27 pm

  by  lhewitt

  @Sandra C: Whew, I think it's all funny! That was my hope. I just want to talk to the grown-up of the child that does it every single time. And that does not seem to be you. :)

  Reply Delete
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 7:56 pm

  by  Sandra

  @lhewitt: No i have sat through the occasional dance recital, but npt all of them, and I'll tell ya right now, I DO NOT sit in the dance studio and watch her rehearse....because then what would i watch if i did sit through the dance recital? :)

  Reply Delete
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 11:33 am

  by  Janie Emaus

  You sound like my kind of mom.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 8:30 pm

  by  Michaela Mitchell

  Ok, good, I thought it was just me! The part about not being the Disney mom that can suck is the mom-guilt that sometimes comes with it. Somtimes I feel bad that we don't travel across our entire town finding all the cool things for kids to do on a Saturday at 2pm because the baby needs a nap, I have to buy diapers, and all I really want to do is sit down. But then I get over the guilt thing, and realize my kids are JUST FINE, thankyouverymuch!

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• 1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 8:18 am
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  Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 8:18 am

  by  Sandra C

  @Michaela Mitchell: Those Disney moms are a hard act to follow. I don't even try. I just send my kids over to the Disney moms' homes until it's supper time.

  Reply Delete