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Following my children's advice
by The reality TV show "Big Brother" is coming to Canada. For those of you who have no idea what "Big Brother" even is, in a nutshell: it's a show where 12 contestants are put in a house with no contact with the outside world for three months.
Audition tapes are being accepted until October, and the show begins in February... in Canada... which is winter time.
One by one the "houseguests" get evicted, à la "Survivor" elimination style, with one houseguest winning $500,000 (only in Canada it's $100,000 because apparently, it's not bad enough that we won't be in California working on our tans and frolicking in the pool to wile away the monotony and the weeks).
I am DYING to audition for the show! Like, I mean DYING! ...I know, I already said that, but that just goes to show you how much I really want this, I'm willing to be redundant.
Of course, before submitting my application tape, I've been discussing this with my family. I would, after all, be gone for three months. (Because we all know I'd win...Hello! Wife and mother of four! Who do you think would ingratiate herself by scrubbing the toilets? Someone's got to do it.)
After many hours of discussion, here are some of the finer points:
1. My 14 year old son said, "You should totally try to get on the show! Do you realize all the stuff you could buy me with the money???"
2. My daughter said, "You're good as long as you can hold in your farts."
3. My son added, "Yeah. As soon as you let one rip, they're putting you up for eviction."
4. My husband said, "You can't even poop when we go on vacation; there is no way you can live three months in somebody else's house. Eventually you will have to shit in the communal bathroom."
5. Older boy said, "Your best strategy is to fly under the radar for a couple of weeks, then get into an alliance."
6. Other older boy said, "Your best strategy is to get into an alliance as soon as you get into the house."
7. Both older boys agreed, "You can't keep anything to yourself. You always want to 'verbalize' everything...You won't make it past the first week."
8. Both older boys also agreed, "As soon as you start talking about 'praying for people,' they're going to be putting you up for eviction."
9. My youngest said, "I'll be praying for you."
10. My daughter said, "You can only stay on the show for one week. After that I'll start crying myself to sleep."
11. My husband has been unusually silent during the discussions.
12. I think it's because my oldest son summed it up best when he said: "You can't go away for three months, Mom. The house would fall apart without you."
...I know, I know, can we hear a collective: Awwwww!
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Comments (19)
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Sun Aug 19, 2012 - 7:51 pm
Oh boy. I'd love to see that audition tape.Reply -
Report Sun Aug 19, 2012 - 8:41 amThey would keep you longer than a week if you wore bikinis every day for the ratings (nothing is hotter than a woman in a bikini scrubbing toilets) ...but as you said, sadly in Canada in February.Reply
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Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 5:03 pm
Awwwwwww. I thought you had six kids. WTH. I think you would win. #4 -yeah-no.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Sat Aug 18, 2012 at 11:48 pm
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Fri Aug 17, 2012 - 2:05 am
Are you really DYING to go? Like DYING? Then I think you should at least throw your hat in the ring and let fate decide. Houses can be put back together...dreams can't.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Sat Aug 18, 2012 at 11:48 pm
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Report Sat Aug 18, 2012 - 11:48 pmNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Don't listen to them!!! You have to go on this show. Plus, if Janelle can coldheartedly leave her brand new baby for three months surely you could leave your kids too? Do it, pleeeeeeeeease. I'm begging.........Reply
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Report Fri Aug 17, 2012 - 5:09 pmAND.....The house would so totally fall apart! They are right!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Sat Aug 18, 2012 at 11:47 pm
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Report Fri Aug 17, 2012 - 7:44 pmI too am a tad obsessed with Big Brother and wonder how I would fare on the show. However while the communal bathroom is not a deal-breaker, the camera in the toilet room most certainly is. Anyway, I do find the concept a smidge lame - I mean 12 adults in a sealed house together for three months? Easy-peasy. Throw in a few teens and toddlers - who are there for the duration, can't be voted out - and hey! Now THAT'S a show! ;)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Sat Aug 18, 2012 at 11:46 pm
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Report Sat Aug 18, 2012 - 5:16 amUmmmmm....I know you. You'll be in the fetal position the first time they put you on slop. You' better hope you win head of household every.single.week.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Sat Aug 18, 2012 at 11:45 pm
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Report Sat Aug 18, 2012 - 7:33 pmThat is We Love You for sure! But-I just heard about a new show. The Week the Women Went. They remove all the women in a town and watch what happens. I want to do that one. You should too. Imagine the bowing when we get back!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Sandra C on Sat Aug 18, 2012 at 11:44 pm
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Report Fri Aug 17, 2012 - 3:05 pmWould this interfere with us meeting in person? Because if so, I too will be crying myself to sleep... :-)Reply
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Report Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 8:10 pm#4 totally cracked me up. Those reality shows are not for the faint hearted...Reply
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Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 3:49 pm
Awwwwwww!Reply
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