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How not to be a dick about plastic surgery
On the topic of plastic surgery, of which I glanced on ITPR, I thought I would expand a bit more.
I've had plastic surgery. I don't have a single regret, not for a moment. I'd do it again and I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Many years ago (come to think of it, more than half my lifetime ago... *shudders*), I had a breast reduction. It is an incredibly complicated and painful surgery. The doctors basically remove the lower third of your girls, slice off the nipples, and re-shape them (because if your boobs are big the nipples are typically the size of teacups), sew everything up like a meat quilt (adding on perkily re-sized nipples), stitch some drains into the side to catch litres of Stuff We Do Not Want To Talk About (that's a medical term), and Robert is your avuncular relative. You have had a breast reduction.
In my case, I went from a size 38DD to a size 34B. I begged to be given an A cup but the surgeon (perhaps rightfully) refused. I was sprouting watermelons and was desperate for something no larger than a fried egg. I spent several days in hospital (as it was major surgery and involves those aforementioned drains. Let us not speak of this. Ever.) I had to wear sports bras for months, and ultimately I have what I call my happy face - my rack is covered with what basically amounts to a smiley-mouthed scar, completed with re-sized nipple scars. My rack is never going to have much feeling and it is not going to be possible to breastfeed. But I think my rack is absolutely perfect.
You get a lot of flak, though, when people hear you've had plastic surgery. Below are some of the pitfalls you should avoid:
1. "You down-sized your breasts? What were you thinking, most people want bigger ones!"
Yes, but most people aren't carrying the equivalent of two gallons of milk strapped to their chest, are they? My next size up would be to strap on kegs and rename myself Tallulah Star, which as long as I had sparkly heels and a thong then I had a career ready to go.
2. "You had a reduction? I wish you could give some of that to me!"
You're in luck, Princess, I brought a funnel and a hose! Let's just hook you up here and now and we'll do swapsies!
3. "Doesn't it make your breasts insensitive?"
No, but they are quietly weeping at the implication, thanks for that.
4. "Your boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/love toy let you do that?"
It was that or go for the full body tattoo, the one that made me look like a giant puzzle piece. Yeah? This seemed like the less insane option.
My take on plastic surgery is: to each their own. Some don't want it, some do. Me, I've promised myself that if I get that turkey neck, I'm going under the knife. I'll start preparing the retorts now.
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Comments (13)
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Report Fri Aug 17, 2012 - 3:15 amI had a breast reduction two years ago. It was the absolute best decision I've ever made! I would do it again in a heartbeat! I had always been a D/DD but after having my son I was a G cup. I was miserable with them. I got all the same responses you did about people saying they will take some of them, etc. I asked to be a full B but I got a medium to full C. I'll take it! No more headaches and backaches, no more looking like a porn star in my clothes. The best part, my insurance covered the surgery and I had a $175 co-pay. Can't beat that price!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Everyday Stranger on Fri Aug 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm
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Fri Aug 17, 2012 - 2:48 am
I remember when a friend of mine had a breast reduction. As soon as she was out of the sports bra we took her to a department store and bought her matching bra and panties. She'd gone from an H cup to a B,and said she was SO excited to have people look her in the face instead of the chest.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Everyday Stranger on Fri Aug 17, 2012 at 1:17 pm
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Report Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 11:05 pmI know a woman who had it done and it really improved her life and her body. Don't let anyone try to tell you you should/shouldn't do that!! She's not sorry either.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Everyday Stranger on Fri Aug 17, 2012 at 1:16 pm
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Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 5:19 pm
I'm a little queasy. Just from the description. I did have a guy ask me on a first date if I planned on getting a boob job (bigger) I said no and left. I would like to have my ass lifted back to its proper spot.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Everyday Stranger on Thu Aug 16, 2012 at 10:49 pm
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Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 7:20 pm
I've known several women who have had this surgery. Good for you. I say do whatever it takes to make you happy.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Everyday Stranger on Thu Aug 16, 2012 at 10:48 pm
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Report Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 10:21 pmMy daughter had a breast reduction three years ago. The poor girl had boobs bigger than her head and had constant back pain from the weight, She is delighted with the result and says it was totally worth it,Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Everyday Stranger on Thu Aug 16, 2012 at 10:48 pm
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