Jun 20

An open letter to Gwyneth Paltrow

Comments (55) by Suniverse June 20, 2012 - 6:02 AM

Dear Gwyneth:

My antipathy toward you is well-documented (cf. my blog, my Twitter, and go ahead and Google Gwyneth K. Paltrow, while you're at it. Seriously. Guess who's up first? ME!). I am in the midst of trying to become kinder and more Zen about life, more forgiving of my own and other people's actions, but you, you dumb twat, are making it impossible.

You recently caused a brouhaha for being a dumbass on Twitter. I'm not going to repeat what you wrote, because I AM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT like some people, but I am going to say this:

There is never, ever, EVER a moment in your white life where you can use a racial slur and think it is okay.

NEVER.

I don't care how many friends of other races you have; I don't care if you're singing along to Public Enemy or NWA in your suburban home on a Saturday morning, while you're running your vacuum to momentarily get rid of the cat hair tumbleweeds, wondering where it all went wrong, you do not say that. You just don't.

You don't get a pass because it's in a song. You don't get a pass because you're friends with the singer. You don't get a pass because you're famous (just ask Michael Richards).

The level of self-delusion and self-involvement in you defies science. Seriously. I cannot fathom being that wrong-headed and clueless so much of the time. It's as if there was a dangerous experiment that went suddenly awry and Gwyn-zilla is the result.

Shit. Did I just insult the Japanese?

I apologize.

But not to you, Gwyneth.

Never to you.

Sincerely, etc.,

Suniverse

by Suniverse June 20, 2012 - 6:02 AM

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Comments (55)

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  • Report Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 1:53 am
    by  Gigi_E
    Holy Schmoly - I can't really comment on Gwyneth. She's okay, I quite liked her in Glee. Loved Sliding Doors. Don't sue me. But actually more than anything I find the whole thing very uncomfortable and although I wouldn't use that word...like EVER, if it's a song title - how do you actually avoid saying it? On a separate note - I had NO idea that the previously totally awesome Kramer from Seinfeld did that (follow the link if you want to see his total nut-job-Mel-Style-flip-out) - what is it with white guys in Hollywood these days - they hate anyone jewish, black, um...un-white. Is it organised, do they have hats? Is golf involved? Can we even know who is next. I mean, are they all 'thinking' it anyway? Depressing.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Sat Jun 23, 2012 at 3:48 am
  • Report Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 3:48 am
    by  The Suniverse
    @Gigi_E: I think the real issue is, even if it IS in a song title, why would you feel comfortable, as a white person - particularly a privileged white person like GP - using a word so fraught with meaning? As to white Hollywood men - there must be some idiot club that they escaped from. PS I'll forgive your lapse in liking her. We all have our secret shames.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 11:57 am
    by  Feline
    I haven't been to ITPR for a while, but this post just reminds me why I decided to take a little break. What Gwynneth tweeted was pretty dumb. But you, Suniverse? You are a first class bitch. Just reading the post and all the vile comments - why do you think that just because Gwynneth writes/says/tweets something stupid that it's any better for you to let rip with your bitchy immature comments. As for calling her sanctimonious? The irony is overwhelming!
    Reply Delete
  • 3 replies, Last reply by The Suniverse on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 6:49 pm
  • Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 6:04 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Feline: Oh, my first hate mail! XOXOXOXO PS First class bitch? MORE LEG ROOM!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 6:13 pm
    by  Dizzy
    @The Suniverse: This is your first? About time you caught up with me, slacker. Ha!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 6:49 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Dizzy: I've never been much of an over-achiever. Glad to join the club.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 6:34 pm
    by  Mrs. Jen B
    It never ceases to amaze me when people feel the need to defend celebrities. Perhaps if more people spent time teaching their kids how to act like human beings, instead of trolling the internet and flying the flag for celebs who really don't deserve the time of day, the world would be a better place. Maybe we wouldn't have kids recording themselves tormenting other people just so they can be famous on youtube. Then again maybe if these kids were famous their celebrity-loving parents would pay a little more attention to them. It's just not that deep, people. And of course I'm just speaking in generalities, not actually knowing the commenters here. *steps off soapbox* Anyway, I love you. You know this. And GP is severely out of touch. But we ALL know this.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 6:48 pm
  • Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 6:48 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Mrs. Jen B: You? Are what is right with the world. I'm always stunned that calling someone on their racism [which is what it is, when you are a white person saying the n-word] is suddenly beside the point, and me being "mean" to someone for being an asshole becomes the point.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 6:35 pm
    by  Thoughts Appear
    I totally missed that. I need to pay attention more to the world around me. Even my boyfriend's kids never to say certain words, even when they're in a song.
    Reply Delete
  • 2 replies, Last reply by The Suniverse on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 6:07 pm
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 6:35 pm
    by  Thoughts Appear
    @Thoughts Appear: *know never to say
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 6:07 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Thoughts Appear: See? Your boyfriend's kids are awesome. GP? Not so much.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 10:26 pm
    by  Tracy @nystoopmama
    So, if I own that album, which is do, I can NEVER say the title of that song out loud? I have to just call it, "The one with the bad word white people can't say...in paris"? I think the whole thing is absurd. She is one of Jay Z's best friends. Jay Z and Kanye made a song called N*ggas in Paris. She was IN PARIS WITH THEM- the people who sang the song of the same name. She merely tweeted the name of the song. No biggie. Now if you were pissed at her gorgeous hair/ability to wear slinky calvin klein gowns/cute husband....THAT I would get behind.
    Reply Delete
  • 4 replies, Last reply by The Suniverse on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 6:05 pm
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 10:59 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Tracy @nystoopmama: Nope. Can't. Not right. PS I'm pissed at her for lots of reasons, mostly the level of smug sanctimony that she has.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 7:30 pm
    by  Dizzy
    @The Suniverse: Wait. She's best friends with Jay-Z? What a bunch of GOOP. Do they talk about how awesome they think they are? Because that has to be the only thing they have in common. Obviously the ability to publicly use racial slurs, regardless of context, without offending almost everyone isn't one of their similarities. I really do think she should have used her supposedly superior brain on this one.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 7:42 pm
    by  Dizzy
    @Dizzy: Hey! I registered but I still don't see my avatar... that'll teach me to quit goofing off during work hours.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 6:05 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Dizzy: Aren't work hours SUPPOSED to be for goofing off? PS Your avatar is up!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 6:46 pm
    by  Lady Estrogen
    She is a fool - I have a growing vomit factor for all actors that are second generation actors. Ohh, what's that? Your parents are who? Ooohhh, well then of COURSE you can be famous too - here's 10 lead roles for you to choose from. Ohh, you want to be a country singer too? Why the fuck not - you're already famous. No one will notice that you can't actually sing. I'm sure all the "real" country singers that have been scrounging and struggling to get a break for 1/2 their lives appreciate what you've been able to accomplish with 2 shakes of your bony ass. Barf.
    Reply Delete
  • 3 replies, Last reply by The Suniverse on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 6:05 pm
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 6:50 pm
    by  Suniverse
    @Lady Estrogen: YES! EXACTLY. There is no fucking reason for her to be famous because she CANNOT ACT. Not even a little. The whole singing thing? It is to laugh.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 8:05 pm
    by  julie gardner
    @Lady Estrogen: Allow me to say here that if GP publishes a novel and then turns up dead, do NOT look for the gun under my bed. Because I don't own a gun. Yet. (Okay. I would never actually murder anyone. Except with my eyes. Which can be very accusatory.)
    Reply Delete
  • Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 6:05 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @julie gardner: Your eyes CAN be accusatory. I'll be checking under your bed.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 11:16 pm
    by  Nelly
    This post is just awesome! Love it. Does her tweet really even matter, she will always be known as the tool who named her kid apple! How serious can we take her?
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 6:04 pm
  • Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 6:04 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Nelly: Not seriously AT ALL - and yet people STILL think she has something to say.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 12:44 am
    by  Everyday Stranger
    I can't begin to comment on her. I don't mind her children's names (punishment on the playground, anyone?) I don't mind her cookbook. I don't mind her films. What I do mind is the post she had on GOOP which went into how hard it is to be a working mum, what with the work, and the jetting around the world, and the steadfast refusal to not serve her children tinned soup only organic quinoa made from unicorn hair, and the hour of exercising per day....and I just think "You don't represent me. Please. Please don't speak for working mothers. Just....please." And then I turn off from her in practically every way.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 21, 2012 at 6:33 am
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 6:33 am
    by  The Suniverse
    @Everyday Stranger: Its that sanctimony - that "I'm just a regular person who is still better than you, let me speak for you " - that is so offensive.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 6:24 am
    by  Pish Posh
    I think this is a perfect response and discussion to the significance of language. Words do mean something and the idea of "trying on" words & phrases, whether from music or elsewhere in popular culture, that you don't get to "own" socially is offensive for legitimate reasons. Everybody sings along to songs in the shower, but publically tweeting things are different. And hence that informs our separation of public and private, and our identities - the falseness of our identities. Just because you are listening to a type of music, visiting a concert, doesn't give you the legitimacy to use the licentious words. Well done Suniverse!
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 21, 2012 at 6:31 am
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 6:31 am
    by  The Suniverse
    @Pish Posh: Thank so much! It's unacceptable to try and co-opt terms that are so loaded with meaning
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 7:03 pm
    by  JohnoMori
    Had to go Google this as i couldn't tell from the post what she actually said. Then I found out she tweeted the title of a song. Sorry, but white people are allowed to like rap too - east coast, west coast, whatever floats your boat. And, if you like rap of the gangsta variety, Straight out of Compton and Doggystyle being my all time faves, it is impossible to avoid hearing or singing the "N" word. She might be a boob who thinks she's cool 'cause she hangs with Hip Hop icons and she probably should have known better, but it was the title of the song. I am going to call foul on this and give her a pass.
    Reply Delete
  • 5 replies, Last reply by Pish Posh on Thu Jun 21, 2012 at 6:26 am
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 7:09 pm
    by  Suniverse
    @JohnoMori: Oh, no. As an ardent rap fan [Easy E, I sure miss you], you can love rap, but you CANNOT co-opt an offensive word to seem hip. You simply cannot.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 7:19 pm
    by  JohnoMori
    @Suniverse: Actually, I think she has you on a technicality here. Tweeting the song title (which mentions Paris which is where the concert was) was an effective end around. She didn't call Kanye West her "n" and shit (ala Larry David with Crazy Eyed Killa). Maybe she is not as dumb as she is getting credit for. Just saying...
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 7:55 pm
    by  Suniverse
    @JohnoMori: Eeeeh, no. She wasn't just quoting the title, as in, "You know what song I love? This one." She was using the song title as an attempt to sound "with it" and "cool."
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 12:37 am
    by  JohnoMori
    @Suniverse: I know. I get it. I even feel your pain. The Apple Tree person is not my favorite either. And as Amebya points out, the use of the word in pop culture (black and white) is a mega social topic unto itself. But, when you Tweet the title of a popular song, you are covered even if you are just worming your way through a loophole.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 6:26 am
    by  Pish Posh
    @Suniverse: Agree. It is inappropriate to use racially offensive slurs to sound "with it." It's just the rules. That's the way you go. Mostly she just sounds like an insensitive pretentious douche-waffle and bad role model.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 12:07 am
    by  The Bearded Iris
    You had me at dumb twat. This is just the icing on the cake for all the reasons GKP rubs me the wrong way. Blech!
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 21, 2012 at 12:11 am
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 12:11 am
    by  The Suniverse
    @The Bearded Iris: You complete me.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 12:07 am
    by  lhewitt
    She should do a cleanse.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Thu Jun 21, 2012 at 12:10 am
  • Report Thu Jun 21, 2012 - 12:10 am
    by  The Suniverse
    @lhewitt: A mental cleanse. Absolutely.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 8:03 pm
    by  Reading (and chickens)
    Oh, Gwynnie. So much she won't listen to! So much!
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Wed Jun 20, 2012 at 11:01 pm
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 11:01 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Reading (and chickens): It's as if she decided that if something is the right way of doing things, she'll do the complete jackass opposite.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 9:17 pm
    by  Arnebya
    Eh. I don't mind her acting. The singing is a laughable attempt at please allow me to try to do something, anything, to remain relevant. Again, eh. As for the N word use -- I think she is just wholly ignorant. Yes, it is the title of the song. Yes, her homies refer to themselves utilzing this decidedly, wholly endearing, unoffensive term, so it must be ok for her to do it as well. I won't get on the she should know better train because what are black people showing her other than it is ok to use, it has no power, its effect isn't what it once was, its connotation no longer hurtful, only Jesse Jackson is angered by it. She no know no better because dem ni**as is showing her no better. That was uncalled for, sorry. Wait, I'm not sorry. It was a bad joke. Also, I don't use the word. I just sorta kinda used the word. It makes my husband's 94 yr old grandmother bristle. THAT is why it makes me bristle, even in jest. Like a minute ago when I sorta kinda said it to be funny but it wasn't funny and now you hate me because I used it even though I'm black and am supposed to be able to use it because it's just. a. word. Fuck that. It's so much more.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Wed Jun 20, 2012 at 11:00 pm
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 11:00 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Arnebya: SEE? YES, EXACTLY. There is so MUCH behind this word. SO MUCH. PS I COULD NEVER HATE YOU. NEVER.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 10:09 pm
    by  Clare Macnaughton
    Pah! Paltry...don't oxygenate it though.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Wed Jun 20, 2012 at 11:00 pm
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 11:00 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Clare Macnaughton: She's a wretch.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 9:24 pm
    by  Jim W
    Gwyneth is pretty. I'd like her more if she was a little curvier, but you can't have everything. That said, the previous sentence is the start and finish of my regard for her. I don't care what she says because I assume she's a dumbass. I'm not hoping to learn any life lessons from anyone who names her daughter Apple.
    Reply Delete
  • 4 replies, Last reply by The Suniverse on Wed Jun 20, 2012 at 10:59 pm
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 9:25 pm
    by  Jim W
    @Jim W: It bothers me a little that "Inthepowderroom.com" assumes I'm a woman and gives me a female avatar. I'm a man, damnit!!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 10:19 pm
    by  The Bearded Iris
    @Jim W: I'm with you on the Apple nonsense. Just don't tell my kids, Cabbage and Rutebega. Also, if you register with our site, you can upload your own avatar.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 10:20 pm
    by  Clare Macnaughton
    @The Bearded Iris: we call rutebega swede.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 10:59 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Jim W: HAHAHA. Yes, you should avoid life lessons from such people. Absolutely. PS If Facebook's default is a man - well, here you go.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 10:36 pm
    by  Rebecca
    Personally I cannot bring myself to say the word. Ever. When it's in a song I'm singing along to, I bleep myself. And I cringe whenever I hear it. That's just me. I don't give a rat's ass what Gwyneth does. Most celebrities are twits. Most people are twits. And twits gonna twit.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by The Suniverse on Wed Jun 20, 2012 at 10:58 pm
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 10:58 pm
    by  The Suniverse
    @Rebecca: I think "twits gonna twit" is my new favorite saying. LOVE!
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 7:20 pm
    by  Slauditory
    I agree with you. Gwnyeth thinks she gets a pass because she's "cute" and because she has black friends, but that is not so. She needs to check herself before she wrecks herself (fool).
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Suniverse on Wed Jun 20, 2012 at 7:54 pm
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 7:54 pm
    by  Suniverse
    @Slauditory: YES, EXACTLY. There is no pass. PS Love the quotation marks around "cute". BECAUSE SHE IS NOT. Smug DOES NOT EQUAL cute.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 6:53 pm
    by  alexandra
    Which brings me to what I've been asking for ten years now: Why is the Gwyneth?
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Suniverse on Wed Jun 20, 2012 at 7:07 pm
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 7:07 pm
    by  Suniverse
    @alexandra: WHY INDEED? No one, not even Stephen Hawking, has come up with a satisfactory answer.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 6:49 pm
    by  Suzanne
    Agreed. Except I don't think she does her own vacuuming.
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Suniverse on Wed Jun 20, 2012 at 7:06 pm
  • Report Wed Jun 20, 2012 - 7:06 pm
    by  Suniverse
    @Suzanne: You're right. But standing over the housekeeper to make sure she's vacuuming correctly has to be so hard. Right?
    Reply Delete

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