 |
The ex factor
Women are a strange breed.
We share just about everything. Make-up, clothes, shoes. We whisper long into the night telling secrets about ourselves. We share advice on how to kiss, put in a tampax, and even how to give the perfect blow job.
But when it comes to men - especially those categorized with the word "ex" in front of their description, such as ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, ex-lover, well, then sharing is off-limits.
It doesn't matter that we no longer have feelings for this ex person. That we've moved on to someone else. That we are completely and totally happy and satisfied in our new relationship.
Even if it turns out that our BFF and ex are perfectly suited for each other.
The ex is off-limits.
This situation makes for great stories. We've all seen movies where the guy dates the wrong girl first, realizes his mistake a day too late, mopes around for a few scenes, and then rushes through the torrential rain or through a crowded subway station into the arm of his true love.
And the girlfriends? They either never speak to each other again (and are okay with that) or stay together, realizing they are much happier now anyway.
Well, it doesn't always end happy in real life. The best friend usually abides by the ex rule and the ex wanders off into oblivion.
Why does this happen? Why, if we don't want this particular guy in our life, can't we let someone we know have him?
Is it because having once been intimate our minds will forever be seeing our girlfriend and our ex engaging in the same things we once shared? Perhaps a spanking now and then. Or simply a romantic evening, drinking wine, watching the sunset.
Is it because we think they may talk about us?
Are we being selfish in not letting our ex move on with someone we know? Or is it jealousy which rears its ugly butt?
It's an age-old situation. I don't want him, but you can't have him.
No other species seems to share this absurd reality.
Only women. And it seems pretty darn strange to me.
Products You May Also Like
-
$93.60View Details
-
$96.99View Details
-
$83.20View Details
-
$83.20View Details
You May Also Like
Comments (22)
-
Report Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 12:02 amMy ex is the devil. I call him Pig Vomit if I ever have to speak of him- which I try not to. Anyone would be welcome to him- but out of sheer human decency I would not let my BFF, F, or just some random lady walking down the street date him. The memory of him still gives me the shivers and NOT in a good way!Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by SEO on Fri Oct 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm
-
Report
Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 5:00 pm
Hey Janie, This has never happened to me, so I don't know what I would do. Have to think about that one.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by lhewitt on Thu Aug 16, 2012 at 8:04 pm
-
Report Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 2:59 amLOL I know this story. I've lived it! Yep. My guy dated my best friend in high school. She dumped him right after Christmas our senior year. He called me (we'd all been friends all this time) to cry on my shoulder. He took me out on my birthday a few days later. Day after tomorrow we will have been married 34 years. The girl who was my best friend all through high school? Never talked to me again. She won't even come to the reunions - which are big enough she could avoid us both easily. I like to think of her as the starter girlfriend!Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Aug 16, 2012 at 9:35 am
-
Report Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 2:02 amI did once suggest to an ex-BF that he call up one of my friends and ask her out. They have been married for 25 years! Having said that, she wasn't a really close friend but I knew she liked him, and we don't live on the same continent now so there have never been any "situations".Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Aug 16, 2012 at 9:33 am
-
Report Wed Aug 15, 2012 - 8:48 pmJanie, if I didn't want him (or he didn't want me) why would I subject my girlfriend to him? lol! I suppose it's more about wanting to move on - if I have, and my friend starts dating my ex, then I have to either keep seeing him, or find a new friend. And GOOD new friends are hard to find!Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Aug 16, 2012 at 6:56 am
-
Report Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 4:28 amWell, after reading your once again thought provoking article, I still don't have an answer. It is weird and I'm not sure how I'd feel about it.!!!!!! It's stupid and immature, but somehow it's uncomfortable!Reply
-
Report
Thu Aug 16, 2012 - 12:24 am
So true.Reply -
Report Wed Aug 15, 2012 - 8:21 pmIf you've dumped the guy it's for specific reasons. Your BFF now dates him, so he's going to still be in your life? With those horrible quirks that made you dump him? Awkward. : 0 But if you dated and you still like him (just not romantically) and you have a nice parting of the ways and remain friends I could see even introducing him to a friend and everyone living happily ever after. I'm always amused and amazed at how the celebrities handle this stuff.Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Aug 15, 2012 at 8:52 pm
-
Report Wed Aug 15, 2012 - 7:52 pmI hear you on this, Janie! For me it comes down to the specifics of the situations, taking into consideration the depth of feelings in the ex-romance, and the level of trust and truthfulness in the friendship. In the right circumstances, the ex and the friend can work beautifully for all, but in others, I think it's a painful dealbreaker.Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Aug 15, 2012 at 8:35 pm
-
Report Wed Aug 15, 2012 - 7:42 pmWhen I was single, for my girlfriends and I, it was more an attitude of respect for each other. We value our friendship more than to risk fouling it up up over a man. After all, men are easier to find than a true friend, right?Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Aug 15, 2012 at 7:47 pm
-
Report Wed Aug 15, 2012 - 7:32 pmIt does make some sense to me, Janie. If you dump a guy, you don't necessarily want to have him keep showing up in your life, and that would happen if you stay buddies with your friend who picks him up. Plus, yes, your imagination could go wild over their relationship. Glad I never had to make that choice!Reply
-
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Aug 15, 2012 at 7:46 pm
Enter the word as it appears in the box.