In The Powder Room

Aug 08

Top of their game

Comments (14) by Janie Emaus August 08, 2012 - 6:02 AM

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From the vantage point of my couch, I've been watching the Olympics. And these athletes are nothing short of amazing. They are at the top of their game. Even when they perform badly and the tears start to flow, they are performing higher than most of us could ever imagine.

Watching their tight thighs, ten-pack abs, and muscled arms, has made me imagine myself in better shape.

What better way to accomplish this, than to join a Boot Camp?  

Now I know this isn't going to be a quick way to get into shape. And it's definitely not going to get me into the Olympics. 

This is going encompass a great deal of sweat, perseverance, strength, dedication, Bengay and I might add, a little vodka to relieve the muscles. You know what they say: "No pain, no gain. Feel that burn." 

I remember Cathy Smith and then Jane Fonda shouting that mantra at me a million years ago while I did my workout listening to their albums. Yes, I did say listening. I used to play Jane's record on my stereo and listen to her counting out my sit ups, encouraging me to keep going. Work till it burns.

That record got a lot of play and became so scratched that 50 sit ups turned into 150. You know how records would get caught in a groove and repeat...repeat...repeat.

I soon graduated to Jane's VHS tapes, which did make doing the exercise a bit easier, since I could watch what she doing and not have to guess if my legs were at the correct angles while doing leg lifts.  

Throughout the years I've tried many different forms of exercise. I even tried the Crutch Method - twice. Each time, I built up my arms and tightened my stomach muscles. But I wouldn't recommend breaking a bone as the preferred method of getting in shape.

I've belonged to various gyms.

And in my past life I even went to see Richard Simmons, but that memory is so embarrassing that when I think of it my minds shifts into a senior moment.

But before I join a Boot Camp, there are a few routines that would need to be added to the regiment.

1. Fan Flickering - to strengthen the wrist for use with that ever-handy "Hot Flash" fan.

2. One Arm Sweater Removal - to help with agility when removing clothes while driving.

3. Mind Maneuvering - to help control tears brought on by hearing a certain song.

4. Cool Down - a leisurely lunch and an extra-cold, extra-dry martini.

And after many of these workouts, week after week, I might then be at the top of my game.

Anyone care to join me?

by Janie Emaus August 08, 2012 - 6:02 AM

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• • 
    Welcome to Camp Mom!

    by The Bearded Iris May 24, 2013 - 6:01 AM
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    The bra that knew too much

    by Dusty Earth Mother May 22, 2013 - 6:01 AM
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    Saint Vibrator

    by Janie Emaus May 20, 2013 - 6:01 AM
  • 
    Apparently yoga teachers shouldn’t do that

    by The Bearded Iris May 17, 2013 - 6:01 AM

Comments (14)

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  Report Thu Aug 9, 2012 - 12:01 am

  by  Terry

  Great story. Ah boot camp!! Nope, won't join you, I'll just settle for the walking and the dry martini!! I need to have some time to watch the olympics.

  Reply Delete
• 1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Aug 9, 2012 at 9:31 am
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  Report Thu Aug 9, 2012 - 9:31 am

  by  Janie Emaus

  @Terry: I'll have that martini with you anytime.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 8:53 pm

  by  Vicki Batman

  I like your workout. Mine involve...sweat. LOL If only...

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• 1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Aug 9, 2012 at 9:07 am
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  Report Thu Aug 9, 2012 - 9:07 am

  by  Janie Emaus

  @Vicki Batman: Mine do involve sweat. Butg sometimes, not enough.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 8:08 pm

  by  robena grant

  Now this is a boot camp I could follow. Oh yeah, and how about a computer chair dance routine? An endurance thing for those times when you have to get up and pee but you need to keep writing. I'd win at least the silver in that. ; )

  Reply Delete
• 1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Aug 8, 2012 at 8:48 pm
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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 8:48 pm

  by  Janie Emaus

  @robena grant: I might take the gold in that event.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 7:56 pm

  by  Linda O. Johnston

  Why not Olympic finger-snapping to get a dog's attention, Janie? That's one I could compete in--even though my dogs still ignore me unless those fingers also contain treats!

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• 1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Aug 8, 2012 at 8:48 pm
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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 8:48 pm

  by  Janie Emaus

  @Linda O. Johnston: You have very lucky dogs!

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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 7:44 pm

  by  TinaF

  Very nice, Janie! Can we add to your regiment some nice tongue clicking and neck rolling to practice during traffic jam stress?

  Reply Delete
• 1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Aug 8, 2012 at 8:47 pm
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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 8:47 pm

  by  Janie Emaus

  @TinaF: Got it.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 7:41 pm

  by  Kathy Bennett

  I'd also like to add slide-trombone arm and eye workout to your boot camp routine. When I can't find my reading glasses, I'm doin' a solo of 76 Trombones!

  Reply Delete
• 1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Aug 8, 2012 at 8:47 pm
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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 8:47 pm

  by  Janie Emaus

  @Kathy Bennett: LOL! I have my glasses on all the time. So this isn't a problem..anymore.

  Reply Delete
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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 5:24 pm

  by  lhewitt

  That is one routine I could follow (with a minor adjustment here and there). Confession - I really did want to catch Jane's legs on fire. Feel the Burn.

  Reply Delete
• 1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Aug 8, 2012 at 8:47 pm
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  Report Wed Aug 8, 2012 - 8:47 pm

  by  Janie Emaus

  @lhewitt: Remember that? Feel the burn. Oh, did I feel it.

  Reply Delete