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The ABCs of back to school
A – The Aggravation that bubbles inside of you when you realize there are too many things that need to get done for that first day of school and not enough hours in which to do them.
B – The Books your child was supposed to read over the summer and didn’t. Which makes you look like a bad mom. But trust me, you’re not and you’re not alone.
C – The Calories in those fancy Coffee drinks you consume the night before school starts so that you can stay awake to get everything in order.
D – The Donuts you need to buy on the first day of school so that your reluctant children (especially teenaged ones) will get out of bed.
E – Those annoying Emergency contact forms you need to fill out every year even when the information is the same as always.
F – The things you will Forget. Because, no matter how hard you try, you will forget something.
G – Those wonderful Girlfriends who are there to listen to you complain.
H – Hugs you give your children in the morning. And if it’s the very first day of Kindergarten, you feel those hugs all day long.
I – iPhones, iPads, iPods – all those items that your child will say he needs in his world, a world where “I” is the most important pronoun.
J - First day of school Jitters and for all those wonderful books written on the topic.
K – Kisses. Those you give when tucking your child into bed on that last night of summer vacation. Those you give before watching her walk into the schoolyard. Those you feel on your cheek as you work, trying not to think about how she’s doing.
L – The last Dora the Explorer Lunchbox on the shelf. The one your daughter can’t live without and that is snatched up by a pushy mom seconds before your fingers grab onto the handle.
M – Money you used to have in your bank account until you shopped for back to school clothes.
N – The Neighbor who is not home to lend you laundry detergent so that you can wash that favorite blouse your daughter has to wear to school the next day or she’ll die.
O – The Orgasm your body so desperately craves to relieve the tension that has built up over the past few days.
P – That Perfect outfit for you to wear on the first day of school. Hey, admit it. We moms like to make a good impression.
Q – Those Quiet moments in the middle of the night when you lie awake, your heart palpitating as you realize how fast the years go by.
R – Reconnaissance mission: what it feels like driving around town trying to find all those items: pencils, pens, erasers, folders, lined paper, ruler...
S – Sex. Refer back to O.
T – Teacher assignment.
U – Making sure you wear clean Underpants just in case you are hit by a falling object and need to be taken to the hospital by an ambulance.
V – Vacation is over.
W – That much needed glass of Wine, when the kids are finally asleep.
X – All those hundreds of Xs, on all the forms.
Y – Years of thinking that this Year, you will be more organized. (But you never are.)
Z – All the ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZs you’re not getting while your children are young. But you don’t mind, because you wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Comments (22)
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Report Mon Oct 8, 2012 - 3:21 amHaHa....I remember this! My kids are now in college but this definitly brings back memories.Reply -
Report Sun Sep 16, 2012 - 3:05 amMy children are grown but once I was brave and took my grand kids for over a week. Memories of feeling dirty and tired resurfaced and I remembered all of a sudden why I loved the bathroom so much. It was my little sanctuary that no one could follow me and gave me a chance to recharge.Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Sun Sep 16, 2012 at 4:29 am
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Report Sat Sep 15, 2012 - 11:26 pmSuch a relief that I don't have so many of these details to deal with, once all 4 of their cars are packed...they are pretty much on their own at college. But I have been there and you are RIGHT!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Sun Sep 16, 2012 at 1:49 am
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Report Sat Sep 15, 2012 - 10:09 pmMy first time here and I love your site. The photo on your banner still has me laughing.Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Sun Sep 16, 2012 at 1:49 am
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Report Sat Sep 15, 2012 - 10:15 pmMy first time here, but I will be back - I liked this post and just LOVE you banner picturesReply
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Report Thu Sep 6, 2012 - 12:09 amVery cute Janie, and I'm looking at it from both the mother's and the teacher's point of view (gotta get those forms in so the office secretaries don't start harassing you!)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Thu Sep 6, 2012 at 5:27 am
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Report Wed Sep 5, 2012 - 8:00 pmWhat a cute, creative--and accurate--post, Janie! Ah, the memories...Reply
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2 replies, Last reply by The Bearded Iris on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 10:53 pm
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Wed Sep 5, 2012 - 7:47 pm
Funny and Sweet! Well done!Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 8:45 pm
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Report Wed Sep 5, 2012 - 7:50 pmI really loved this post, Janie. The way you made every letter into a true word having to do with our kids and that first day of school is ingenious. Thank you. PattiReply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 8:05 pm
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Report Wed Sep 5, 2012 - 7:21 pmMine are in college now, so this is a walk down memory lane. Especially the tedious forms...and the books your child was supposed to read but didn't! Gah--I even resorted to the audio versions in the car, when they were trapped and HAD to listen! Because you're right, otherwise I would have felt like a bad mom!Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 8:03 pm
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Wed Sep 5, 2012 - 6:56 pm
Great Post Janie.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Janie Emaus on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 8:03 pm
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