Sep 26

What your kid's instrument says about them

Comments (65) by Nicole Leigh Shaw September 26, 2012 - 6:02 AM

They say understanding how to play music, particularly playing an instrument, helps kids master mathematics.

I played the always sexy upright bass in middle and high school.

I can barely count.

But I can do musical mathematics.

If we are being honest about ourselves and our children-playing instruments in high school, marching in the band, or having one meet in your parents' garage-might help with that algebra quiz. But it might also tell us something else about our kids. (Unless this list offends you, in which case, OF COURSE I don't mean your kids.)

Drums + marching band = He's got a bright future in a civil war reenactment group in the fife and drum corp.

Trumpet + jazz band = Your kid hates you and your ear drums, what did you do to that kid to make him so vengeful?

Tuba + pit orchestra = He's taking his cousin to prom. Oh, relax. It's only his second cousin!

Cello + string ensemble = Scholarship ahead, and a tell-all memoir about how you pushed him too hard to succeed. Way to go, tiger mom.

Electric bass + garage band = Even if the band makes it big, it won't be named after him.

Accordion + oompa band = You make him spend his Saturday nights at Grandma Krauss' Polka Club, what did that kid do to you to make you so vengeful?

Piano + private instruction = Your family vacations at gated resorts, doesn't it, moneybags? I can barely afford a plastic recorder, never mind pianos and lessons from people not on YouTube.

Obviously, I'm joking. Kids exposed to the arts are uniquely poised to understand our culture, our humanity, in deep and meaningful ways. It's vital to their overall betterment. For example, they are better at telling jokes like, "Put the Schubert Bach in the freezer."

Stereotypes and kidding aside, the truth is that our choices say a lot about us. For instance, my choice to listen to Sandra Boynton CDs even though my kids have largely outgrown kiddie music mean that I have the sense of humor of a five-year-old. That's just my groove, baby.

If six years as the sole bassist in the school's string ensemble taught me anything, it taught me there's a group who's geekery eclipses the fabled nerdiness of the marching band. I was that group's lead dork. But being a dork has its advantages, just ask Warren Buffet, ukulele-playing, gazillionaire business magnate.

by Nicole Leigh Shaw September 26, 2012 - 6:02 AM

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    by  Allison Hart
    This completely supports my planned advice for my kids: befriend the nerds, they always end up the cool kids in the end.
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    @Allison Hart : If they are lucky, cool, rich kids! What? Money makes life easier, if not better.
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  • Report Sat Sep 29, 2012 - 2:31 am
    by  Jam
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  • Report Thu Sep 27, 2012 - 12:30 am
    by  lhewitt
    Too funny - mine played trumpet for 1 week - we traded it in for guitar (accoustic) and lessons from his uncle.
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  • 1 reply, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Thu Sep 27, 2012 at 4:17 pm
  • Report Thu Sep 27, 2012 - 4:17 pm
    by  Nicole Leigh Shaw
    @lhewitt: Smart momma. My oldest is going to start playing violin as soon as I stop lying to her about not being able to find a teacher.
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  • Report Thu Sep 27, 2012 - 5:53 am
    by  Kim at Let Me Start By Saying
    I played drums in the marching band. I'm a lot sexier to you now, aren't I?
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  • 1 reply, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Thu Sep 27, 2012 at 4:16 pm
  • Report Thu Sep 27, 2012 - 4:16 pm
    by  Nicole Leigh Shaw
    @Kim at Let Me Start By Saying: It explains the svelte arms. And the see-through cervix shorts gave you away, babe. I knew you'd have the band geek upon you. At least drumline had the hottest guys. You tiger, you.
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  • Report Thu Sep 27, 2012 - 7:43 am
    by  Jessica
    I played violin in the orchestra. We were classy, the band was dorky. (At least that what I like to tell myself)
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  • 1 reply, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Thu Sep 27, 2012 at 4:15 pm
  • Report Thu Sep 27, 2012 - 4:15 pm
    by  Nicole Leigh Shaw
    @Jessica: OMG!!! We thought the same thing. But the truth was that we were only small and mostly anonymous. No one ever slushied us because we pretty much didn't exist.
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  • Report Thu Sep 27, 2012 - 8:11 am
    by  just keep swimming
    I told a band geek last week that I played trumpet (and yes, I was in a jazz band) and he looked at me and said "I wouldn't have pegged you as a trumpet player." I asked him "What? You had me pegged as a flute or clarinet player?" Yup. That was exactly what he thought of me. I am so square I'm now considered non-essential marching band woodwind instrument material.
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  • 1 reply, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Thu Sep 27, 2012 at 4:14 pm
  • Report Thu Sep 27, 2012 - 4:14 pm
    by  Nicole Leigh Shaw
    @just keep swimming: Awesome! I was too addled to learn electric bass (all those frets, why!?). So I couldn't even be in jazz band. String ensemble or bust, baby.
    Reply Delete
  • Report Wed Sep 26, 2012 - 8:08 pm
    by  Teri
    Absolutely HYSTERICAL!! I've got a trumpet master and a sax master in the house, both in jazz band, both in marching band. Trumpet also plays in the symphonic band. Loud in my house? You betcha!!! Teri Snarkfest
    Reply Delete
  • 1 reply, Last reply by Nicole Leigh Shaw on Wed Sep 26, 2012 at 10:12 pm
  • Report Wed Sep 26, 2012 - 10:12 pm
    by  Nicole Leigh Shaw
    @Teri: I love the trumpet. It's a fave. But I'm hoping my kids avoid it (I don't think my eardrums can handle it!!!) How ever do you manage to avoid hearing loss?
    Reply Delete

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