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Getting away
I've just come back from a ten-day break in Mauritius. It was officially my honeymoon, (although it was some three months after I got married) so we pushed the boat out. We stayed in a swanky five-star resort, in a private villa. We had a pool, a driver, butler service, a spa, a private beach and a boat at our disposal. It was divine.
On our last day, we had a champagne breakfast brought to the villa (go ahead, hate me, I don't care) and over a leisurely scoffing of yet more heavenly food, we discussed our favourite parts of the week. He chose snorkeling through a reef as a school of thirty or more dolphins came swimming by. Good choice, I thought. It was a magical moment. And then he asked what my favourite part of the week had been. The candlelit dinner under a tent on the beach, gazing up at the stars? The chauffer-driven shopping spree? The endlessly indulgent spa treatments and massages?
Oh I know exactly, before he's finished the question, but I can't answer. I mumble into my (third) pastry, sip more champagne, and push my poached eggs around the plate. I look horribly embarrassed. In the end I have to confess: "Having a break from the kids".
I know. I KNOW. I am an awful, horrible, ungrateful mother. I love my kids to bits, of course I do. Of course I do. But this parenting lark is hard. I never get enough sleep, I never have enough time, and I worry constantly about their future (my children both have what is euphemistically referred to as "Additional Needs" making me even more of a worrier than usual). I'm not complaining, it's just that, well, I really did enjoy the break.
I read a book without interruption. I ate a meal without stuffing it down quickly in order to help someone else eat theirs. I ate meals in restaurants I liked rather than those that accommodate my children's palates. I went out for the day without utilising packing and organisational skills rivaled only by the circus-moving town. And on most days, the biggest problem I had was choosing what kind of massage I might enjoy.
When I finally got home there were hot tears and fierce hugs and I could not believe how much I had missed them. But the honest truth is that time away from them keeps me sane.
Is it really possible to love someone so much that you have to get away from them for a while? I suppose it must be. I sometimes think that is the very definition of being a parent.
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Comments (16)
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Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 10:39 am
We all need a break sometime. I'm glad it was a great trip.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Sat Jun 23, 2012 at 6:12 pm
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Sat Jun 23, 2012 - 3:55 pm
I'm trying hard to hate you for that trip, but jealousy isn't my thing. Yes to the getting away. I've only once been on a Real Trip Away Just For Fun...usually a relative is involved when we go somewhere. I am going to close my eyes now, and imagine what it must be like to have to worry about which massage to have this afternoon.Reply -
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Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 7:07 pm
Sorry can't hate you, that trip sounds devine and deserved.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by lhewitt on Sat Jun 23, 2012 at 6:27 am
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Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 3:50 pm
You are spot-on. Parenting is relentless. Even when they are asleep and you are relaxing, you are still "on", 24x7. We never, ever get to turn off Parenting when we're near home. The first time husband & I left our kids in someone else's care overnight was when they were 2 & almost 4 years old. We flew to the other side of our country, then left it to go to another one. For a week. We basically ran away and hid in a beach resort. I relished hours on the beach reading at least a book a day, interrupted only by handsome tanned men who were delivering cocktails. I looked fancy at night, without someone weeping that they JUST KNEW I was going out, then blowing snot bubbles on my Dry Clean Only shirt. It was divine.Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 11:19 pm
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Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 3:12 pm
There was a post not long ago that had other mothers coming out in smackdown against mums who go away on holidays and leave their kids behind. Personally, I'm with you. It's up to the family, but we do it, too, that "getting away". The longest was 8 days and it felt a bit too long, but like you the odd long weekend has been instrumental for our sanity. Besides, the kids stay with the grandparents who spoil them relentlessly. Win-win, I think, and we come back laden with gifts (we leave a "daily gift" behind for them as well, a small token thing) and when we get back it's refreshed, happy, and like you said - we've read a book. Eaten a proper meal. Caught up on sleep.Reply -
2 replies, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 11:17 pm
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Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 2:49 pmThe kids are fantastic but having those days away, giving time for each other, was very important. It seems like just a wonderful dream to me sometimes. Roll on Venice.....Reply -
Report Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 1:10 pmvery interesting. as always:):)Reply
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1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 2:10 pm
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Fri Jun 22, 2012 - 1:22 pm
Sometimes it's nice to be an adult again. Sounds like you had a holiday. I haven't had a holiday in years. When people say 'have a nice holiday' - I always think 'I am going with the children'. It's not so much a holiday with them more of a change of scene!....And yes, I hate you....not really I am pleased for you but also I WANT ONE Too!!! :)Reply -
1 reply, Last reply by Liz Dawes on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 2:09 pm
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