Who doesnt want to kill Elmo, really?
I often have the urge to junk punch Elmo. His little squeaky voice, his creepy bug eyes, the way he never shuts up–he's overly adorable and it triggers some inhumane urges in me.
So I understood completely when Mitt Romney (by the way, did you know his first name is Willard? Ha! Willard) said he wanted to cut funding to PBS. He wants to shut that furry red bastard up just as much as I do.
So don't try and pawn it off on balancing the budget and cutting the deficit, Mitt. Because that just makes you sound dumb.
Since funding for PBS & NPR combined is less than 1/100th of 1% of the federal budget, surely you don't expect people to believe that is really your motivation.
Since that is equivalent to me saying I'm going to use my bathroom lights for two seconds less every month in order to help save for my kids' college fund, you aren't really going to use that as your excuse to kick Snuffleupagus to the curb, right?
A large part of your political platform is wholesome, quality family values. Given the epically wholesome content of PBS, you can't expect people to believe you have anything but evil intent for Elmo at the heart of your attack on public broadcasting.
Because here's the thing, Mitty boy, yes we're putting Sesame Street forward as the face of PBS. But it's so much more.
We live in a time when crappy TV shows are crammed with even crappier commercials. We watch Lord of the Flies style reality shows with some sort of Orwellian nightmare unfolding before our very eyes. Our children are watching simulated violence at mind-boggling rates and one of the only havens in this landmine of brain-rot is PBS.
Julia Childs, Mister Rogers, Michael Palin, documentaries that actually educate and shows which enrich and foster intelligent content. This is the lightbulb you want to turn off for two seconds a month to have no hope of actually affecting the deficit in any real way?
That's hilarious. You're hilarious. You should highlight your sparkling sense of humor more often–THAT would be campaign gold!
So come ooooon, Willard Mitt Romney. Stop yankin' everyone's chain. You don't actually think PBS and NPR are sensible budget cuts. You just hate that little, obnoxious furry red fucker. It's okay, we all do.