A couple of months back my husband and I were driving with the kids when we had the unfortunate luck of running into the Panty Dropper. He was stopped at a light a couple of lanes to the left of us.
After a very inconvenient return to our house to retrieve another pair, I decided it was my duty to create a to do list for anyone who should find themselves in this same embarrassing circumstance.
1. Show You Care, Bring a Spare: this way you don’t have to head back home or make an unnecessary stop at your local Target or Kohl’s.
2. Give yourself a big old pat on the back. No matter how far along in life you are, you can be comforted that: A. You are not the asshole also known as the Panty Dropper, or B. You are not sitting in the passenger seat.
3. Try to get a picture: this way you can alert your friends that he is in the area, and you have actual proof that such a thing exists.
4. If you have daughters: explain to them that they are never to date a douchey guy like the Panty Dropper. A truck decorated like that is a definite deal breaker.
5. If you have sons: explain to them that it’s never cool to be that dude, I mean ever. Classy guys get higher-grade pussy. This guy picks up the chicks he finds at Walmart.
6. Consider the amount of time and effort the Panty Dropper put into designing, creating and applying that decal. Brainstorm about how many useful things could have been brought forth into the world with that kind of enthusiasm.
7. Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife, and hide yo’ husband.