The Very Hungry Frickin Caterpillar via In the Powder Room

The Very Hungry Frickin’ Caterpillar

In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf. Yes, sweetie, that’s a moon. Yup, got it. Moon. Now turn the page.

Okay, we are flipping back to look at the moon some more. Moon. Yes. Don’t you want to see the caterpillar?

One Sunday morning, blah blah blah . . . look, a caterpillar! Yay caterpillar! Can you point to the caterpillar?

Um, no, that’s the moon.

On Monday he ate through one apple. Can you say ‘apple’? No, sweetie, we don’t eat books. No, books are not food. Yes, I know it’s an apple, but it’s not a real . . . take that out of your mouth. This is a library book.

Okay, on Tuesday he ate through two pears, and . . . now you’re turning the pages too fast. You’re missing all the delicious food the caterpillar ate! Candy! Cupcakes! Raw sausages! This is no ordinary caterpillar—he is staring down cavities and listeria in order to satisfy his gluttonous, inappropriate appetites.

Fine. Turn the pages. Whatever.

Look, now he is eating a leaf—see the hole? The caterpillar ate through the pages of the book. Oh no, don’t cry, sweetie, the book isn’t broken! It’s pretend. A pretend caterpillar pretended to eat through the pretend food.

Let’s look at the moon again.

You’re right; the moon does kind of look like a bubble. No, there are no actual bubbles on the page. No, we are reading, not blowing bubbles. We will blow bubbles after we finish the . . .

All right, all right, we’ll blow some freakin’ bubbles now.

(10 minutes later)

Now where were we? The caterpillar got fat, went into a giant sack, and emerged as a . . . honey, stop eating the bubbles wand. Do you see the butterfly? Butterfly? Isn’t it pretty?

Ugh, fine, eat the bubbles.

Again? You want to read it again? {Sighhhhh.}

In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf . . .”

 

This original piece by Ali Solomon was written exclusively for In the Powder Rooma division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. Featured image © Eric Carle, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

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Ali Solomon is a cartoonist and art teacher who lives in NYC with her husband and two wee daughters. You can find more of her nonsense on her blog www.wiggleroomblog.com , Facebook, or on Twitter @AliCoaster.

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  1. says

    Ah, yes, the all-important break to blow bubbles. I do it myself when a novel I’m reading gets too “heavy.” Now, thanks to your piece, I’ll know to eat some of those bubbles, too!

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