Presidential front-runner Donald Trump at odds with millions of Republican voters after suggesting a firearm may have been menstruating. (THIS IS SATIRE!)

Donald Trump Offends GOP by Saying Gun Was on Its Period

Presidential front-runner Donald Trump finds himself at odds with millions of Republican voters after suggesting that a firearm may have been menstruating.

On Twitter, the real estate mogul responded to a question about the recent shootings of journalist Alison Parker and videographer Adam Ward in Virginia, which occurred during a live broadcast.

“Some ppl don’t know how to DUCK,” Trump tweeted. “Why was that gun so irritable, anyway?”

Gun-rights activists seized on the word “irritable,” citing it as a reference to the gun’s menstrual cycle.

“It’s in very poor taste to revert to this offensive stereotype,” a GOP spokesperson said. “Guns are a cherished part of our families and our community. They deserve our respect.”

The National Rifle Association (NRA) joined the party’s condemnation of the remark, adding that it was ungentlemanly to draw attention to a weapon’s natural discharge.

Trump’s comment came on the heels of controversial remarks about GOP candidate Carly Fiorina. “Look at that face!” Trump said of the former business executive and current chair of non-profit philanthropic organization Good360. “Would anyone vote for that?”

“I think the Glock 19 is beautiful—and I don’t care who knows it,” said Slocum Flapgravy of Murfreesboro, TN, in an on-air phone call to Fox News, referring to the firearm recovered from the Virginia shooter. “Anyone who would disparage a gun like that doesn’t have the temperament to be President.”

“I have a gun just like it at home—and two little ones,” said Lard L. McFritter of Augusta, GA. “What kind of man would I be if I just stood by and let some carpet-headed carpetbagger bad-mouth the strong, independent weapons I love?”

Trump later clarified his statement, saying he meant to tweet, “Why was that [guy] so irritable, anyway?” but didn’t check for typos.

“Oh, sure, now he says that,” said Clampett Pigfurst of Wichita, KS. “You can’t put the buckshot back in the shell, buddy.”

“There are, like, 300 million firearms in America,” said Polly Wollydoodle Allday of Bozeman, MT. “He can’t have a poor opinion of all of them and expect us to believe he’s looking out for them, too, right?”

This original satire by Andrew Bryan Smith was written exclusively for In the Powder Rooma division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. Fake tweet image created by @InThePowderRoom. 

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Andrew Bryan Smith received an honorary degree in theoretical math from a fictional university. He wrote and co-produced the short film comedy “Out Smart,” which has been featured on The Huffington Post, The Advocate, JoeMyGod, and more. Andy lives in Hollywood, or so it seems. Connect with him on Twitter @doitinprivate.

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  1. says

    I do a lot of gun violence prevention advocacy – A LOT. This is a brilliant piece, albeit a little too close to the reality that is our American culture. Thanks for writing it, and thanks Powder Room for being brave enough to publish it! with love and gratitude from Newtown CT. xo