Which Feminine Hygiene Product Should You Buy via In the Powder Room

Which Feminine Hygiene Product Should You Buy?

Confused? Overwhelmed? Homicidal? Let us help you choose the right product for your monthly visitor with this handy-dandy “flow” chart.

 

Are you eleven years old? → Anything “slender”

Are you over six-and-a-half feet tall? → Anything “extra long”

Will you be attending a tee-ball game or dance recital during your lady time? → Anything “maximum”

Do you like everyone in your vicinity to know you have your period? → Anything with “fresh scent”

Do you enjoy embarrassing situations and throwing away your underwear? → Any store brand anything

Are you a frequent flyer? → Anything with wings

When you have your period, do you enjoy horseback riding in a white bikini? → Anything marked “flexi” and a poppy seed muffin to explain your drug test results.

Do you like to have options, and are you also creative with leftovers? → Any combination pack

Are you crying because you have PMS and why are there so many $%^& choices? → Go with your favorite color. And chocolate.

 

This original piece by Peyton Price was written exclusively for In the Powder Rooma division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. Featured image © istock.com/phbcz. 

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Peyton Price is the author of Suburban Haiku: Poetic Dispatches From Behind The Picket Fence. She lives in suburbia (of course) with her long-commuting husband (of course) and two above-average children (of course). You can find her making fun of the good life around the web and at suburbanhaiku.com.

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  1. says

    I have a Mirena, so sometimes I forget people have periods, until I see a woman happily horseback riding in a white bikini. Or until my kid asks me what T-A-M-P-O-N spells when reading the dispenser in the bathroom at Target.

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