Confused? Overwhelmed? Homicidal? Let us help you choose the right product for your monthly visitor with this handy-dandy “flow” chart.
Are you eleven years old? → Anything “slender”
Are you over six-and-a-half feet tall? → Anything “extra long”
Will you be attending a tee-ball game or dance recital during your lady time? → Anything “maximum”
Do you like everyone in your vicinity to know you have your period? → Anything with “fresh scent”
Do you enjoy embarrassing situations and throwing away your underwear? → Any store brand anything
Are you a frequent flyer? → Anything with wings
When you have your period, do you enjoy horseback riding in a white bikini? → Anything marked “flexi” and a poppy seed muffin to explain your drug test results.
Do you like to have options, and are you also creative with leftovers? → Any combination pack
Are you crying because you have PMS and why are there so many $%^& choices? → Go with your favorite color. And chocolate.
This original piece by Peyton Price was written exclusively for In the Powder Room, a division of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC. Featured image © istock.com/phbcz.